Resolutions are mostly about willpower. “I resolve to do whatever it takes to change this super important part of my life if it’s the last thing I do!”
I have a strict “no-resolution” stance. Frankly, I’m exhausted by the “do-or-fail” language of most resolutions.
I resolve to write my novel!
Run a marathon!
Travel to Antartica!
Whatever…
What if you don’t, but you DO write a ton and make loads of progress?
What if you run more and really begin to love running. Is that a win?
Resolutions so often draw a line in the sand. It’s a win or lose. Progress is poo poo.
How often have you or, um, a friend, said, “this will be the year!” If you’re resolving to do the same thing year after year and not doing it, it’s a sign; not working for you.
Recently, I was on a call with an old colleague, and we were catching up after a long absence. Like you’d expect, she asked for updates on my life and business.
“How’s work going?” she asked.
“Great. Great! Did I mention it was great? Um. It’s great. I love it. I do. Um, but I’m in transition.” (Mumble making a change, mumble something about greatest decision ever.)
Somehow the rambling sounds the same in my mastermind, with friends, and when I talk to my parents.
The harder you work to convince others that your path is great, the less it will actually feel like the truth. When you’re happy, you don’t need to do any convincing.
Immediately, I’m set into motion. I need to set some new goals for my business, create and document some target achievements, things to reach for and do. Hello, resolutions: The things that if I do them will mean I’m on the right track, a success.
What you and I need to do is forget about New Year’s Resolutions, all the doing you want to do, and think about the promises you’re making to yourself.
Promises are more like a pledge, a commitment to yourself and often others. It’s your word of honor.
Resolutions are like a shout out to the world stating your intention, and a promise is a firm and true whisper that resonates deep within you.
10 Alternative Promises to Live Your Best Life
I promise to:
- Be the leader of my life without apology, shame or excuses.
- Not to hide under a big blanket of “great!” and worrying about how much others understand or agree with my choices.
- Stop judging myself when my progress is slower than other’s
- Do what makes me feel fulfilled
- Embrace progress
- Prioritize being with the people I love and who love me too
- Focus more on my way of being than what I’m doing
- Love myself
- Lead with kindness
- Be present as life unfolds instead of 1000 steps ahead
What are you promising yourself?
Again WOW Alli. A simple list that can catapult everyone into true change. You have found a subtle difference between the word resolution and promise that makes a blatant difference in result. Down-to-earth actionable promises have a far better chance of happening than some grand New Year’s resolution.
Bravo and keep these great posts coming!
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™
Grateful, Kate. Here’s to making promises to ourselves that we’re committed to keep. 🙂
Alli
Love your post Alli! I agree that sometimes resolutions are too all encompassing and fail at the get-go. When I get derailed on a resolution I often just chuck it out. Promises on the other hand do help us stay true to ourselves and try to focus us on what is meaningful. I try to promise not to beat myself up when I face disappointment. I look at promises as goals and if they don’t materialize I attempt to figure out the lesson I learned.
Thanks Alli and will share!
I’m with you on resolutions. What I appreciate is that when your goals and promises get derailed, you take the time to learn from it. I look at goals as milestones and these kinds of promises as commitments to ourselves about who we are and what we value. Either way, when we derail, it’s the learning that gets us back on track.
Happy New Year!
Alli
I really loved this sentence: “When you’re happy, you don’t need to do any convincing.” As soon as I hear a celebrity talk about happy they are, I know it’s themselves they’re trying to persuade. Same with lots of other media interviews…as Shakespeare once said, “The lady doth protest too much.” Well said, Alli, and I’ll share with others.