Meg, an old friend, called me one day last week to catch up. She was sure it was time to make a dramatic change in her career. A year ago, she felt a spark at work, and now, the joy was gone. Her spirit had fractured to the point that it was negatively impacting her entire life.
Yup, work was the problem; she was sure. Her career had run its course. She wanted to talk about making the leap to the expat life. She had an epiphany that would fix what was plaguing her. What else could it be?
There were options other than walking away a 20-year career to start something new in a new place. Maybe it was time for Meg to make the leap or perhaps she needed to invest in some jumper cables to restart her mojo that had unexpectedly flatlined when she wasn’t paying attention.
We kept talking. If she wanted to move and start a business, I’d give her all the advice I could. If she needed to reconnect with something inside of her, there were pathways to do that too.
Lost Your Mojo?
Life feels like work and work, well, often feels unbearable. Your days are filled with stress and living and working with you becomes more like navigating a minefield than a pleasure. You could blow any second.
When you have good mojo, you’re deeply present not only to yourself but to those around you. It’s a tingle that you can’t name, almost a vibration, that keeps you engaged and makes others want to engage with you. Your mojo is the whisper inside of you that says, “you’ve got this,” and means it.
If you feel like you’ve lost your mojo, you’re not alone. You also don’t need to give up your job or move to the other side of the world to get it back. I mean, you could, but if you’ve lost your mojo where you are now, you won’t suddenly discover it in a new location as if it took an earlier flight.
Is your job killing your mojo, or is it something else?
I could relate.
As a writer, there was a time that I felt the magic. Some call it mojo, others flow. I’ve also had those magic moments in classrooms I’m facilitating and with coaching clients too. Then, one day, poof.
Did I still do my thing? Sure.
Did I still offer value? Deliver high quality? You bet.
What changed? Did my mojo go on vacation and forget to come home? Unlikely.
What I was doing didn’t change all that much; something inside of me did. What changed was me. Life and my circumstances shifted. Things sparkled less, I thought, afraid that maybe what sparkled less was me.
One truth that I shared with coaching clients over the years was that it wasn’t only their mojo that had gone on hiatus, but also their sense of self. It was that part of themselves that knew what they needed to feel fulfilled and have a joyful life.
“The part of you that makes you sparkle is who you are, not what you do. “
It’s not too late to get your mojo back. Here’s how:
So, how do you reconnect the most you part of you if you didn’t even know it was missing? Here are a few ideas:
- Phone a friend. Sometimes you need to talk things through, and other time you need them to be a mirror and remind you what they see within you.
- Stop being afraid you’re the only one. Stop being afraid to talk about it.
- Go all-in on a Coursera class. Learning, gaining knowledge and confidence, interacting and connecting, all of these things are fuel for your mojo
- Write something crappy. If you’re not a writer, journal without self-editing
- Read something trashy. Get lost in the story. Not everything you read has to be edifying.
- Fantasize – plan a trip even if its a not-now trip. What lights you up?
- Take a mental health day – go play
- Recruit people to play with you. I love Sleuth Kings
- List 10 things that are awesome in your life. Go. No thinking or putting it off
- Give thanks. Don’t let opportunities to be thankful and say thank you pass you by.
- Reconnect with people who feed your soul. Don’t worry about how long it’s been.
- Give yourself “brain space.” Intentionally block your schedule give yourself time to look forward and get curious about what’s possible. It’s key that you allow yourself to use this sacred time without stressing about the 19,000 things that could use your attention now.
- Get reacquainted with your values. Values are your guideposts showing you the way forward.
- Take a shower. It sounds silly since you do this one regularly, but allow yourself to stand under the stream before rushing on with your day. People swear it’s where some of your best ideas happen for a reason.
- Take a nap
- Laugh your ass off. Watch a funny movie or read some ridiculous memes and laugh.
- Pump up the jam and dance. Don’t want to dance? Pop in your earbuds and hit the gym or go for a run. The essential things are to let the music spark joy within you and move.
- Meditate – use an app like Calm or try Headspace
- Sleep at night. If you’re running on empty in the sleep department, it impacts all of your waking hours. Shoot for 7 – 9 daily to be and do your best.
- Clear your space. Your outer world often reflects how you’re feeling in your inner life. If you want more inner serenity, create it in your office and home. I promise a purge and file will give you more than a clean desk.
- Set a goal. We all benefit from something to work towards, know yours. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or little, personal or professional. Set one.
- Donate your time or money or both
- Look for three bright spots a day. When you’ve lost your mojo, you begin to focus on the gloom. Each night or over dinner force yourself to look for the bright spots in your day. Target three, and if you find more, it’s a bonus. Make this a habit.
- Talk to your mentor or coach
- Interrupt your negative self-talk. What are you telling yourself? You get to control the message. Choose to love yourself – there are enough people in the world who will try to undercut you, be your biggest supporter.
Want to be happier? Reclaim your mojo? Learn to feed your soul and fan your inner fire. Get to know yourself again and more importantly, don’t forget to believe in yourself too.
What works for you when you’ve lost your mojo? How have you found it within you again?
Gary Gruber says
“The part of you that makes you sparkle is who you are, not what you do. “
Amen, sister! Terrific list of suggestions. I especially liked, and resonated with, #’s 1, 10, 13, 16 & 24. Glad to see you back in the blogging/writing mode. You know you are gifted and those of us privileged to receive your gifts are grateful. Thanks!
Alli Polin says
Made me smile, thanks for that! I’m glad to be writing too. Heard from another friend that their mojo has gone bye-bye. Hope this helps. I know I’ve done my best to take my own advice too. 🙂
Thanks, Gary!
Alli
Kate Nasser, The People Skills Coach™ says
Hi Alli,
SO many great ideas in this list. #25 may be the MOST powerful. Lots of negative self-talk roaming around inside of people even when it’s not obvious.
I would add one more thing that has worked for me: Start something .. anything. I find when I focus too much on a big goal, I get lost. So I just start anywhere in the process and it ignites my mojo.
Great post … will share.
Kate
Alli Polin says
Negative self-talk is a big one. I agree. We can’t be our own worst enemy and expect to find our mojo.
Also, love getting started. Sometimes we talk ourselves out of doing anything because we’re in a funk and mojo-less. I suggested setting a goal if you don’t have one but equally important if you do, is to celebrate the small wins along the way and not wait for the finish line.
Thanks!
Alli
Terri Klass says
I love all 25 of your points as well as your call to action! Taking action is what is necessary when we feel lost. I especially relate to #11- Reconnect with people who feed your soul. Since I am so energized by people, I find that phoning someone or setting up a time to hangout is so helpful to regaining my footing. We all get in these funks and working our way through is the only way to get to the other side.
Thanks Alli and will share!!
Alli Polin says
Doing nothing usually takes us deeper into the darkness. Action, even if it’s dancing around or working out, gets our bodies in motion which also helps our minds. Even if it’s not making progress on the thing that’s getting us down the most, action helps.
I know that when I have calls with you, I always hang up energized and my creative mind is in motion.
Grateful!
Alli
John Bennett says
Quoting: “I mean, you could, but if you’ve lost your mojo where you are now, you won’t suddenly discover it in a new location as if it took an earlier flight.” I’ve always admired the ability to ‘turn a phrase’ that most of the people whose postings I read / Consider regularly have – such as your ‘it took an earlier flight’ used here. I’m realizing this ability and wide public followings are strongly linked. The phrases used create a memorable story to motivates the Consideration.
And you’re absolutely correct (of course …). There is absolutely no reason to expect that a change of location should have an impact on the “joy of contributing” that our employment or volunteering if retired. Changes of location can be necessary to continue / enhance the joy or they can be totally unconnected / unimportant to the continuation / enhancement. But in and of themselves, choosing to move shouldn’t start with “it will bring my mojo back …”
Great list!!!
Alli Polin says
John,
Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad that phrase made an impact.
I appreciate the perspective that you’ve brought here. While a move may not be “the answer”it can still bring joy, and make a positive difference in your life. It’s the age-old issue of moving towards something vs chasing vs running away. Reminds me of an apartment building that I used to pass on my train ride every day: “If you lived here, you’d be home now.” No matter where you are, your mojo can be with you.
Alli
LaRae Quy says
Wow! What a great list, Alli! Since you and I both writers I truly appreciated #4…even if it’s crappy, just get it out there! I’m a big fan of Julia Cameron’s “morning papers” where she encourages people to write whatever is on our mind first thing in the morning. It clears the head of all the junk that can clog up our thinking and clarity…
Alli Polin says
Thanks, LaRae! I’m not familiar with Julia Cameron’s morning papers but you can bet I’m googling it now! Sounds like a great practice to put in place. Easy to get to a place where we feel weighed down and unable to focus. Sounds like a great strategy to lift that weight and get going.
Alli