It had rained for two days, and the river flowed. Most of the year, the river that cuts through the town where I live is dry, they even have “boat races” in the dry riverbed every August. It’s so dry that even small amounts of rain lead to flooding. Nevertheless, people still need to get to work, and kids need to go to school.
It was just after eight in the morning, and I was taking my kids to school. There’s only one elevated roadway in our town that cars can cross regardless of flooding. It was out of the way, and we were running late, so we crossed our fingers and took the shortest route.
As I approached the water covered roadway, I did some quick calculations that my car was high enough to make it through the water without breaking down or floating away. The road was open. If the water got too high, there would be a barrier closing it off to traffic. We were barrier-free and good to go by car, sure, but pedestrians?
I slowed down before driving through the water to minimize splashing; on either side of my car were the “walkers” on their way to school.
The many kids who walked, and needed to cross the river that had spilled across the road, did a mixture of five things:
- Stopped and turned around.
- Kept their shoes and socks on their feet and splashed through with a scowl.
- Took off their socks and shoes and crossed the flood.
- Waited for the cars to pass to avoid splashes before scurrying across.
- Laughed as they got wet from head to toe, thanks to motorists who didn’t care about their splash.
The water was an inconvenience for some and an impossible barrier for others. In reality, it had little to do with the water or the flood. The blockade was all about their perceptions, resilience, and persistence.
How important was it to cross? Would it ruin their day or add some interest? Could it be just the excuse they were looking for to turn back around and head home?
They were hit with an inconvenience for sure, what made some of them decide that crossing was impossible?
When you see something unexpected, does your mind immediately turn towards inconvenience or impossible?
What’s the river that you need to cross?
I’ve talked to friends this week who are wondering if they should cancel concerts or travel due to the coronavirus.
Others are hearing a lot of no to their latest business offerings when they want to hear yes and are wondering if it’s a sign.
Then there are the book writers who have no time because of their kids (those pesky kids!). If it’s not kids, it’s because of work or the weather or broken alarm clock. (You get it.)
Or the people who tell me they want to lose weight or get healthier, and every time they commit to going to the gym, there is one roadblock after another making it hard.
As with the kids walking to school, the decision has less to do with the obstacle – it’s personal.
Break the Frame Action:
So, what’s your river? What have you labeled as impossible when may be more inconvenient? Moreover, what are you making up?
As you wrestle with inconvenience vs. impossibility like those kids crossing the road to go to school, grab a pen and paper or open Evernote, and answer the following:
Name your river.
What would it take for you to cross?
What’s stopping you?
How challenging is it?
Do you have a default in similar situations?
What makes you afraid of what you’re facing? What does the feel like?
What’s the worst case if you stop here?
Best case?
If you can’t do it the way you want, what options are there for you?
Where is your bridge even if it’s out of the way?
Is it worth it?
Who do you need to be to cross the divide?
It’s ok if the right thing is to stop and turn around just like it’s ok if the right thing for you to push forward. Instead of letting your fears be your guide, choose mindful action, and it will take you where you both want and need to go.
Is it merely an inconvenience or is it a more valid and serious obstacle? Is it only about perception? Do we make a judgment/decision based on previous experience of failure or success? I do not know for sure. What I know for sure is that your questions are enormously informing, enlightening and helpful. I am sharing them with a few friends and colleagues in the context of where we seem to be these days in a state of what my collaborators at Leadership and Design call fear, risk and ambiguity.
Good questions! Fear, risk, and ambiguity are so often showstoppers. Glad you’re a part of the conversation to sort them out over at your blog and in life offline for so many too.
Thanks, Gary!
Alli
What a great exercise to try as we face difficult crossroads in our life and careers. When dealing with a crisis like the coronavirus or any other in my career I have felt it helpful to remind myself how I navigated challenges in the past. We can empower ourselves by thinking of past strategies, like reaching out to talk to people with more information or brainstorming with team members. Our past success stories often are the key to propelling forward.
Thanks Alli and will share!
Right on, Terri! It is important to look at our past as we navigate our way forward. We can learn not only from our successes but also our regrets.
Thanks for adding your insight!
Alli
A thought provoking piece indeed. My default is “What is the opportunity here?” rather than seeing the road block.
A couple of years ago we were asked to do a ballroom floorshow with two other couples. We practiced in our studio beforehand in what we were informed would be the layout of the floor. Two nights before the show we had access to the venue to block our routines. We walked in that evening to find our coach in a panic. The venue was set up in a completely different configuration and she thought we would have to cancel.
Being a “left field thinker” I stood back and looked at the floor, and realised that we could still do the show, just not as we had planned. I persuaded our coach to give it a try. We all worked together for an hour to re-block our routines, and had half an hour the following night to pull it altogether. The next night was the show.
To say we were nervous with so little preparation was an understatement. But we did it! We entertained people attending a conference from all over the country with a quickstep, rumba and viennese waltz display they won’t forget. We took a roadblock and turned it right over.
What a great story, Ingrid! “What’s the opportunity here?” Yes! Sounds like in that case you were able to see it when others may not have had the same vision. That reminds me that when we share our vision and plans, others join us. With the kids on the way to school, one crossed first. One took off their shoes and socks first. One splashed through first. It starts with one and can end with a quickstep, rumba and waltz 😉
Would LOVE to see you dance someday!!
Alli