No two ways about it. For people around the world, life is suck-tastic at the moment. COVID is raging, elections are looming, people feel stuck in their homes and stuck in their lives. Things that used to be tough, yet you could escape for a few hours a day, are now in your face with no relief. It feels bleak.
Negativity is everywhere.
We are worked up and stressed out.
Divided. Angry. Slighted. Sad. Lonely. Isolated.
Working from home, yay! Which means working 24/7, boo.
At the beginning of the year, pre-COVID, many people came up with a word to guide their year. I know I did, and I could lie to you and tell you I remembered what I picked. I had to look it up. If you’re curious, it was “flow.” Good word that I’ve totally ignored.
The world changed, and I obsessively dove into the news, and horror, and escalating sense of doom with the best of them. Flow? Fuhgeddaboudit.
Instead of waiting for January 1st to claim your new word, find a word or phrase you need NOW. We have two more months of 2020, and even if the political landscape changes, and we get a vaccine, it’s not looking pretty for the start of 2021.
I’m going back to the word I’ve chosen before. It’s the one I DO remember, think of often, and resonates deeply. That word is embrace.
This is the life I’ve got, no matter if it’s the one I wanted. I need to choose to embrace it. It doesn’t mean I can’t also change myself or change the world for the better. However, it does mean accepting instead of lamenting. My children have been frustrating me beyond words lately. I could chalk it up to the rightfully wide-held belief that teenagers are terrible. Or, perhaps, my reactions are mine to own.
On my path to embrace today, I told my son:
“I accept it even if I didn’t expect it.”
Those words are so easy to say or write and so much harder to do.
Acceptance doesn’t mean saying no to change. Acceptance is a starting point, it’s reality. Even when it’s the opposite of what you want, it’s where you are. You move forward from here, not where you wish “here” was, or hoped it would be.
Here’s my advice:
Be kind to yourself. Allow for a do-over or ten. You won’t be perfectly patient or kind or understanding every day, but when you f-up, apologize and start from there. Embrace your shortcomings and embrace who you want to be. You can hold both even in these suck-tastic times.
Alli,
Yes to all with a couple of personal exceptions. One is suck-tastic could well be stuck-tastic too. This time for some of us has resulted in powerful connections that might otherwise not have happened, via social media for example. If I’m stuck (whether inside my head or inside my house) I don’t keep spinning my wheels. I find a way to get traction and keep moving forward. Much easier without a job and without kids. Also easier by being connected to others for shared, lived experiences. So, in spite of all the shit storms that appear threatening, I continue to believe that there are other powerful forces at work for good, a larger, universal truth. I believe that love is greater than hate, empathy will trump apathy, kindness and compassion can erase cruelty and that art, music, literature and the movies will continue to enrich all our lives. Enough for now. I’m following your advice, embracing life as I live it.
Hi Alli,
When I read the title of your post, I heaved a sigh of aah … yes. It has been particularly bad here in the USA w/ everything in chaos from our con man President to COVID-19 of course.
So as we face Election Night here (Nov. 3rd), I have positive thoughts of some thing changing very soon and it gives me the nudge to embrace this year as you say.
I thank you so much for writing this post. It’s a bit of truth cutting through this blinding fog we’ve been in here.
Grateful,
Kate
Such a poignant post, Alli. Life is not what we had expected so I openly accept the advice you are giving by being kind to myself. I also try to remind myself how I faced other difficult times and use those same strategies to propel myself forward today.
Thanks for being the authentic leader you are and encouraging us to be gentle on ourselves and others. Take care my friend….
Fuhgeddaboudit! Love it… 🙂 My word for the new year is “adventure.” I really like your idea of encouraging your readers to intentionally choose a word now and then lean into the new year with this word at the forefront of their thinking. Our mindset is the key,; it’s always the key!