After what felt like years of deliberation, but was only months, Julie called me to share her great news.
“I’m quitting my job and going full time into my business.”
“Yay!” I shouted.
Not even six months later, Julie called with more big news.
“I’m looking for a job. I never thought I would, but I miss it. Am I crazy?”
“No. Not crazy,” I shared. “Human.”
We’re told that the biggest challenge we’ll face when we want to get unstuck and make a change is deciding to do it. To make the leap.
Make no mistake. It is huge.
Quitting your job.
Getting married.
Leaving your spouse.
Changing careers.
Having preventive surgery.
Moving overseas.
Moving across town.
You name it.
These are all big decisions that result in significant changes.
So What’s the Big Secret You Need to Know About Change Nobody Tells You?
You’ve got to live with it which isn’t always easy – even when it’s your choice.
When I moved from change management consulting into HR, it was a welcome change that I instigated. I moved into a position that was a great fit for me and had a team that I loved and trusted. Still, it was a tough transition moving from being a part of the core business to overhead. It took me a good long time to mentally settle into my new position despite the positives.
Then, a few years later, I quit my job to stay home full time shortly after my daughter was born. It took a long time to transition the way I saw myself from Alli the Professional to Alli the Mom. Then, when she was four, and her brother was two, I went back to work full-time at an office, with colleagues and clients all over the country. Hello, another decision, another transition.
Don’t even get me started about moving to the other side of the planet…
The change was as simple as deciding to take the position or make the move. That was like flicking a light switch. On. Off. On. Off. The transition post-change? Not as easy.
Post-Change Transition Is Not a Piece of Cake
Nobody is pushing you. It’s your choice. You leap. Maybe with fear and trepidation or maybe with joy and excitement. No matter, you’re all in. That’s when it hits you. When you jump off a cliff, there’s the fall before you land.
That time when your stomach is doing flip-flops, and you’re anything but settled.
You fear the landing. Will it hurt? Will I land with grace or go splat? Will the new be better than the old?
At the same time, you’re tempted to reach back for the safety of where you just left.
You can’t go back, and you’ve got to go through the air-time to get to the ground. You gotta go through it (and it may take a while).
So often we labor over the jump. Should I or shouldn’t I? What’s the right thing to do? We become so obsessed with the one big decision we don’t think about or prepare ourselves for the drop.
What you need to know about change is that when you’re in that moment of freefall, leaping into the unknown with confidence, competence, and creativity, you’re going to feel out of sorts. Big time. No matter how much you want it.
Like a druggie looking for a fix.
Even though you can’t change back.
You wouldn’t.
It’s impossible.
But you think about it.
Wonder.
Second guess.
“Making a change is easy, living with it is the test.”
The adjustment can hurt, but you will survive.
What you need to know about change is that transition takes time. Give yourself the gift of letting go and accept that eventually, what’s new will feel grounded. Freefalls don’t last forever.
If you want support navigating change, let’s talk.
There is so much in this post worth a longer conversation than is possible here. Change is my middle name and my tag line, “Change is inevitable. Plan carefully” is but one small clue. Everything you mentioned, and many things you didn’t, have been part of my story as well. So, from where I sit, as you know, it’s not about change but how we design, implement, adjust or how we respond to change that we do not design. In both the personal and professional dimensions I have a long list of places, people, events and experiences that serve as illustrations of what’s possible. And here’s the cool part. Still doing change for myself, helping others and enjoying immensely.
I know you’re someone who loves learning, writing and sharing about change as much as I do.
Years ago when I worked in change management, we’d be brought in to support a launch or system change. In truth, the plan had to go beyond the date of the cutover. In many ways, that was the beginning…
Grateful for your insights!
Alli
Think about it. You’re in a situation with which you have experience and a good usable knowledge base. Whether it’s the organization or you within the organization, it’s you dna to address each situation encountered seeking the optimum outcome – you know, …, with all the creativity, hardwork, failures to learn from , … And because of your experience and buy-in, the stress and fear are minimized.
Now Consider the situation where you’ve made a change. Yes, you still have experience, yes you’re accepting of failure and missteps. But it’s in a different environment, different cast of players, maybe different organizational mission, quite possibly a different output target entirely. How in the world can anyone not expect anything but the sense of freefall???
It’s a matter leaning on the considerable experience you have that “… eventually, what’s new will feel grounded. Freefalls don’t last forever.”
It’s interesting. Even with all that knowledge and experience, and doing well in your new “home” often that feeling persists. We long for the comfort of our favorite chair in some ways even though it was time for a new one that doesn’t have our butt print. 🙂
You’re right. We have what it takes and sometimes it just takes time.
“How in the world can anyone not expect anything but the sense of freefall???” I’m with you.
Thanks for adding to the conversation!
Alli
You share such helpful tips and truths about change in your excellent post, Alli!
With every job and career change I have made I did spend time deciding whether it was a good move for me. But sometimes the situation changes and goes down hill so quickly that we need to be agile enough to regroup. This happened to me with my first job after having my children. So instead of working inside for an organization I morphed into a consultant. Same work, but much happier.
Thanks Alli and will share!
Great point, Terri. Just because you made a change and you’re feeling uncomfortable it doesn’t mean it’s not time to change again. You’ve used the discomfort of your transition to help you understand that you were not landing in the right place and made the adjustment.
Thanks for sharing here!
Alli
Yep – me again … commenting after your reposting of this.
I’m reminded of a video I saw a week or two ago. It was of a crazy daredevil (I’m sure he doesn’t see himself as crazy …) who willingly jumped out of an airplane at 12,000 feet without a parachute!!! The goal was to land into a net to safely catch him, saving his life. As an aside, I will note that he did arrange to have a second backup net between the primary one and the ground – just in case.
He made an important effort a few times on the way down: He practiced getting his body into the position it needed to be in order to optimize the probability he’d land safely into the net. While making the jump was insane, in my opinion, practicing getting into the best body position was an important choice.
So, yes, we must make the leap – yes, AFTER Considering the implications and possible things that could happen. AND after planning and deciding what should be done to optimize what is certainly going to be important!!!