There I was, standing at the metaphorical fork in the road. I’m guessing it’s one you know well too. I need to make a decision, I told myself, yet I was temporarily stuck between what-is and what could-be.
A million questions floated through my mind, but none so persistent as: What if I make the wrong choice?
We obsess over our decisions, big and small, because we’re worried about that one nagging question. It’s the one that keeps us up at night: Which option is the wrong one?
Notice, it’s rare to ask yourself which choice is the RIGHT one. Most often, it’s about avoiding the WRONG one.
Either way, agonizing over your decision won’t get you far. Should you weigh your options? Of course. However, eventually, you need to make a decision and take action.
Hello, anxiety and pressure! Welcome to the fork in the road.
Imagine my shock a couple of weeks ago. My web host updated the PHP used on my site (don’t ask me what that technically means). What it meant to me was that my website was broken post-update.
I tapped into the expertise on Fiverr and was informed that my website was dunzo and unfixable.
Not fixable? Irreparably broken? After 450+ articles over nine years? That news, quite frankly, sucked.
Was it a sign from the universe?
Time for a professional pivot?
What did I want to do about this busted lump of a site?
And this, my friends, is how I made my way to that fork I mentioned earlier.
Every choice will take you somewhere. How the heck do you figure out where you want to go?
Need to make a decision? Start here:
You know how you got to your fork in the road. I’ll bet you are also intimately acquainted with the pressure associated with your need to make a decision – and soon.
Here are 5 questions and 5 tips to help you make the best decision you can at this moment and move forward.
Questions:
- What happens if I do nothing?
- Which option has the most positive energy for me?
- Are any of my choices un-doable? (Am I stuck once I travel down that path, or can I turn around and choose again?)
- How do I react when I take a choice off of the table for further consideration? Relieved or stressed?
- Can I make it happen?
Tips:
- Put a time constraint on it if there’s not one already.
- Shift from avoidance of the WRONG decision to identifying the RIGHT one.
- Tap into the way it makes you feel, not only the effort it will take.
- Watch your language – are you making excuses or making the leap?
- Take ownership of the decision. It’s tempting to ask 9,999 other people what they would do, but the choice is yours to make.
Discover the blessing of a forced decision.
I knew I’d re-do my site someday and perhaps pivot my business further, but expected more time to do my mulling. Nope.
You know that when you have all the time in the world to decide, you take all that time.
You get it done.
Welcome to the freshened Break the Frame site. Will you continue to see things evolve over her on my corner of the web? Probably. For now, I made the right decision by sticking around a while longer.
If you need to make a decision and want a partner to suss out which path to travel at your fork in the road, I’m here and would love to help.
One of my favorites is “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Attributed to Yogi Berra who also said, “It’s very hard to make predictions, especially about the future. Alli, this post, like most of yours, is spot on and because you write from your experience in such clear and helpful ways, you are a beacon of light for others who may be struggling with some issue that has them stuck. You have this uncanny ability to get them going again, and most importantly, get unstuck. Thank you!
We can never be 100% sure that the decisions we make will take us exactly where we want to go. However, we can be 100% sure that stalled where we are today takes away our ability to influence our tomorrows. Change happens whether we embrace it, instigate it, or not.
Appreciate your kind words and insights always, Gary!
Alli
I love the pivot you made with your website and so happy you are sharing this process with all of us! As you mention, we often make a change when something “big” happens. I often will look for signs like a new client reaching out or getting involved in a new project. My feeling is as long as we can stay open to a new path and take some action, we will always propel forward.
Thanks Alli!
I wished I could have delayed the decisions about my website, but my preferred timeline didn’t meet reality. I work with people who delay all kinds of decisions until they are forced into making them. If we accept that we can think through our decisions in a measured way yet still choose to make them instead of delay, delay, delay, we’re in a much better position to take control of our future instead of being whipped around by what comes at us at any given time. Decision-making is something that can be so difficult, especially for new leaders who worry about getting it wrong.
Also, being open to different paths is key! When we put on blinders to the possibilities in front of us, that’s when we feel the most stuck. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Alli
Thank you!
If the past 18 months have taught me anything it’s that my timeline for making changes is irrelevant. At times sitting in the fog of the unknown while also needing to pivot quickly has been exhausting. Having those five questions when making a decision is going to be life changing because I’ll have a quick way to assess the issue and develop the optimal plan in time I have been alloted.
Colleen,
First of all, thanks so much for your comment. You’re right, when COVID hit last year, it seemed like overnight the whole world changed and all of our plans were paused. However, a pause couldn’t stop us because as we now know, the timeline for this pandemic does not match any of our preferred timelines. I hear you and feel you with the exhaustion over the past year and the pivots and constant readjustments as we strive to do meaningful work and maintain and build connections. I am very happy to hear that these questions will help you to quickly assess and act in the future.
Here’s to when we can once again move at our preferred pace while fully knowing that even then there will be roadblocks thrown in our way that are not dead ends but challenges to our determination and creativity.
All the best ~
Alli