You’re Not Missing Out. We’re All Having a “Not This Year” Kind of Year

When on vacation, do you take pictures? Post them on Facebook or Instagram? Put them in photo albums or frame them on your walls? We have photo albums and frames here and there filled with memories, but last year I took some of my favorite snapshots and created a photo gallery. 

Looking up at the wall in our family room, I let my mind wander back to some of the travel we’ve done as a family since moving to Australia. When we agreed to move here from the USA, my husband and I set the intention to travel as much as possible and show our kids the world.  

For nearly a decade, I’ve not only been traveling, but in the lead-up, dreaming, and planning. Most of the eight years lived overseas, we met our travel goals and fulfilled our wanderlust desires.  

• In June-July, we head back to the USA to visit family and friends. Not this year. 
• In October, we go farther afield to a new country on a shared adventure. Not this year.
• In January, it’s the beach in WA that has started to feel like home. Not this year.  

This year, like most everyone else in the world, we’re home, reminiscing, instead of packing for our next trip.  

Could you be the only one who’s having a “Not This Year” kind of year?

It feels so unfair, doesn’t it? Missing out? Deeply desiring to get out and explore, see new things, and maybe experience some luxury, but we’re all having a “Not This Year” kind of year.  

All of us, right? 

(This is when your mind starts to play tricks on you.)  

I have a friend who told me she feels terrible that her child is back in school, and he missed the summer as if it was her fault or an uncommon experience. 

Yes, I know plenty of people who traveled despite COVID, but it was different from past years. Instead of dinners out, it was staying in and cooking.  Instead of flying, it was choosing somewhere driving distance. The few who boarded an airplane shared pictures of smiles behind ever-present masks, empty restaurants, and views uninterrupted by the usual tourist masses. 

Every day I read CNN, The Washington Post, the Sydney Morning Herald, and other publications documenting the rising cases of COVID around the world and the devastating impact on people’s health, livelihoods, and the economy.  

Still, the memories of my own adventures are more potent – and playing tricks in my mind. Not to mention all of the movies and TV watched over the last six months showing a world that is oh-so-familiar yet is on pause. I’ll bet your mind is doing a number on you too.  

Think You’re The One Who’s Stuck While Everyone Else is Having Fun? Not This Year…

I tell myself that we’re the ones who are stuck. We’re the ones who can’t travel and do what we want to do. We’re the ones who are missing out.  

As if… 

• People are sipping coffee in a lovely cafe by the Seine. 
  
• Artisans and shop keepers in the Old City are up at dawn, readying their stores, waiting for their customers to come wandering in for a browse, and hopefully, a purchase. 
  
• Broadway shows are on every night, and people are spilling out into the street with big smiles, wondering where they’ll grab a bite before heading back to their hotel. 
  
• The Circular Quay ferries are packed and taking people back and forth to Manly for a leisurely stroll on the beach. 
  

In my mind’s eye, it’s all still true. However, the reality is, not this year.  

For all the things you tell yourself you’re missing out on, it’s not just you. We’re all missing the life we knew, the one we took for granted. We haven’t yet lived for a year with COVID, but it feels like a lifetime. 

Maybe you’re missing travel, the summer, winter, or seeing family, going to the beach, or the movies. Perhaps it’s enjoying a restaurant with friends, or being in the classroom, or having your kids safe in their classrooms and dorms, or working in the office. You may be missing countless things big and small. 

You may be missing things, but you’re not missing out. 

It’s not just you. You are not missing out while others are living it up. (And if they are living it up, sans mask and in large crowds, chances are they’re putting themselves at risk). 

Show your brain who’s boss 

The next time your mind plays a dirty trick on you, and FOMO creeps into your thinking, remember it’s a “Not This Year” kind of year for all, not just you. As you remember what was, as if it’s what is, here’s how you can ground yourself in what-is and what will be: 

Make the most of where you are

You may be limited with what you can do vs. what you want to do, but it doesn’t mean you’re screwed. Get creative. Wine tasting via Zoom? Virtual game night? Rent a would-be cinema release on iTunes? Try a new recipe? Recreate a dish from your favorite travels? The list is long, and there’s no need to wait.  

Interrupt your woe-is-me thinking

Most of the time, we live on autopilot. One way to do this is to have visible reminders around you. A sticky note with a favorite quote on your laptop or fridge may be useful, or a bracelet that reminds you of a time you were at your best. No matter what you choose, pick something that instantly connects you to a time of strength, joy, and resilience. Don’t hide it in a drawer or in a notebook but make it visible daily. 

Dream and plan for the future

Schedule forward-thinking time. When this is over, I will be ready because… I want to create… Now is a time for change. We’re not going back to the way things were but to a new tomorrow. Use this time to get ready.  

Practice flexibility

Yup, chances you’re not doing what you want to be doing this year, and if you are, it’s not how you wish you could do it. This is the perfect moment to lean into your ability to be flexible. It’s a skill that essential to cultivate. Most people don’t discover how flexible they can be until they’re forced into a less than optimal situation. In the future, when plans change, and you need to flex, remember this time – you’ve got this.  

Remember today is not forever

Honestly, the first nine months of the year feel like nine hundred. However, your “Not this Year” is not the same as a lifetime of missing out. Like most people, I hope that by 2022 the pandemic we’re all living through is only a memory. We don’t know exactly when we’ll get a vaccine or regain a sense of normalcy in our lives, but it will happen. It will.  

You will travel again.  

See friends and family. 

Go to concerts.  

And baseball games.  

Cricket, netball, and rugby with spectators.  

The things that make your FOMO kick in?  

You’re not missing out.  

It’s time to transform that feeling into looking forward.  

Dream.  

Create.  

Live.  

May your “Not This Year” be a time of growth and resilience, making you stronger for what’s next when you can say, “This is my year.” It’s coming. Hang in there and get ready.