We fill our time. It’s that simple. You have two hours open; you don’t magically leave them open to think, explore or play. Instead, you cram in another to-do, or meeting, or shopping, or whatever. When it’s over, you’re on to the next thing.
We live in a back-to-back world. One thing to the next. Pushing, hustling, making sh*t happen. Time to breathe? Nah, you can do that while you’re doing something else, right?
This week, marks the start of summer vacation and I decided to take a break from the work I was doing and force my son to take a break from Fortnite, and we headed out to lunch. It was hot, the kind of heat that makes you feel like you’re being cooked alive. You sweat when you take your first steps, and you don’t want to be outside for too long for fear you’ll melt into the ground.
As we walked back to the car, we heard music up ahead, live music. It was a great cover of one of my favorite songs, Skinny Love. As we approached, we saw that there were a few chairs scattered about and less than a handful of people listening, but the artist was singing his heart out. We paused and stood there to listen.
After 20 seconds or so, my son suggested that we needed to leave. After all, we have things to do, a long list that we discussed over lunch. His arm was around my shoulder and mine around his waist, and I gave him a little squeeze and whispered, “We’re right where we need to be.” My son put his head on my shoulder, and we stood there, together, until the end of his song which was also the end of his set.
Walking to the car, I asked him what he thought. My son told me that we needed to remember to enjoy the small moments, every moment. Instead of rushing past them, I added. It may be something I’ve told him before but not something I’ve demonstrated enough.
We’re all busy and have to-do lists that rival the length of the circumference of the planet. Most people I know have their laptops open as if it’s another appendage. Even in their downtime, they watch TV shows, cuddle with their children, and talk to their spouse with their fingers on the keyboard and eyes on the screen.
What if you didn’t? Would your to-do list explode and take you down with it?
Five years from now, in the dueling priorities of life, which ones will you be glad you chose?
Your to-do list won’t suffer when you take a beat to take a breath. In fact, it’s just what you need to do when you need to be and do your best.
Instead of writing a list of 25 things you can do to stop and enjoy the moment, I’ll leave you with one:
Stop and hear the music.
We all have places to be and things to do. Choose to be present, see beauty, and hear awesome music in your life without rushing by… it will change everything.
Alli,
Spot on there, my friend, especially for the rush rush around holiday time. Whether it’s taking time to smell the coffee, the roses or the one next to us, make sure all the senses are alive and well and contributing every day. AND, along with that to do list, a to don’t list might be a good counterweight for better balance. Take some time as you suggest to see, hear, taste, hug, and smell every day and do it consciously, intentionally as a meditative experience.
And go ahead, make your own to don’t list. Happy Days!
Alli, your post so resonates with me because I am guilty of running until I can’t move. Your experience with your son is similar to how I get with all the crazy picture taking for social media. I just want to enjoy my family and friend gatherings and not get caught up in what I need to post to a social media site. I just want to “be in the moment” and not regret missing out on the interactions and love.
Thanks for a great reminder and I will share with others too!
I loved this sentence: “Five years from now, in the dueling priorities of life, which ones will you be glad you chose?” Another great reminder that in 5 years the things over which we agonize today won’t even be important enough to register in our memory. It puts things into perspective…and it’s not only this time of year that we push ourselves—rush, rush, rush. I appreciate the timely topic and the encouragement to slow down and appreciate the here and now…
Oh, yes. It is when the to-do list comes closing in fast and furious that I most need to get away for a few moments. A quick stretch to loosen the tense muscles (and sometimes crack the shoulders). Outside, a quick job through the woods. Inside, a rush up the stairwell. Even a couple minutes’ break frees the mind. And getting the blood pumping releases the tension.