It’s hot here. Unbearably hot. Outside, early afternoon, it’s already 110 F and rising (43.3 C) and inside, where my AC is struggling to keep up, it’s 88 F (31 C). It feels awful.
The summer is in high gear in Australia, and it’s even too hot to go for a swim in my Outback town. The pool water is far from refreshing, and it would take mere minutes before my fair skin looked like a lobster’s.
I FaceTimed with family this morning, and you know what? Where they live in the USA? It’s freezing. They’re getting ready for snow and the kids can’t go outside without full winter regalia.
Yesterday, as I laid on my couch and tried not to move, I closed my eyes and imagined growing up in the USA. I vividly pictured the snow all around me. I stood there, in my vision, with no coat, turned my head to the sky, and willed myself to feel the chill. All I wanted was five minutes of coolness without standing in front of the freezer with the door open. It didn’t work.
Back on the other side of the planet, my siblings were jealous that next week my family will be sitting on a beach (in a cooler part of the country) while they’re still bundled to the hilt.
I want what they have; they want what I have.
We can’t will ourselves to instantly change our circumstances. Picturing snow didn’t make me shiver, it made me long for the past, and what others have. All it did in my present is make me resent this moment – other than the heat, this moment has a lot of good too.
What Happens When You Fixate on What Others Have?
When you fixate on things that are going wrong in your life, you miss what’s going right. At work, play, home, with friends and family it’s an eternal truth: Turn to the dark; you miss the light.
Wishing I had what others have (cold!) doesn’t cool me off. The same is true that watching someone rise in their career or with their business and being overwhelmed by jealousy doesn’t create good things in your life.
Action x Time
All it takes for each of us to get what we want is action x time. It’s the most powerful formula you need to know.
I can’t change the season, but I can go to somewhere with better AC. I can get through this time with grace and cheer as opposed to anger and sweat. It won’t be this way forever.
Eventually, it won’t be a heat wave here, and the snow will melt on their street. Time passes; things change. Not to mention, every time you get used to your current conditions, they change again.
Of course, this also means that some things that are fabulous right this minute won’t be that way forever too. That’s why as things change, we too need to decide to change.
While you’re in the midst of the discomfort, it can feel like it will take forever, but it’s won’t. I promise.
Things change with time, but it’s your actions that influence your path.
Action x time is the most critical thing you can know about the year ahead. This is the formula that will make you unstoppable.
The Only Thing You Need to Know About the Year Ahead?
It will bring change. It’s inevitable.
Your kids will continue to grow and mature.
You will get used to your new position or new org, or you’ll leap again.
Summer becomes Fall becomes Winter becomes Spring.
Time will pass.
Will finish your novel?
Make time for your kids? Partner?
Change jobs?
Start a blog?
Quit longing for a life that you don’t have without doing a single thing to create it?
The question is: Are you on a raft at the mercy of the sea as the current changes or will you grab the oars?
Here’s what you can count on: The current will shift, the waters will be calm again after the rain, rocks and waterfalls will make things unpredictable.
You decide in the year ahead… Victim or creator?
This too shall pass.
Hi Alli,
I clicked on your blog post title and BAM the essence of a happy new year jumped off the page — stop comparing yourself to others and what they have or do!
If there is one New Year’s Resolution that is worth making, it’s that one.
You Alli have started everyone off on THE positive path for a transformative change. That’s why I call you the change blogger.
Kudos and thanks,
Kate
Thanks, Kate! We can wish and want but without action, we’re at the mercy of time… better keep our fingers crossed.
Appreciate your support!
Alli
It’s been my mantra for several years, “Change is inevitable. Plan carefully.”
And you hit it square on: “Things change with time, but it’s your actions that influence your path.” Two kinds of change, planned and unplanned. Do what you can to prepare for both, design for the former, contingency for the latter. And, my word for 2019? Better! That’s what you do, help people be and do better. Happier, Healthier, Better and More Wonder for 2019!
You’re one of my favorite people who’s equally passionate about change as I am. Great point on planning for change – we can plan and act but also accept and course correct when those things that are unexpected and out of our control come into play.
I like that word, by the way. Better. Inspires progress and leaves room for imperfection.
With gratitude,
Alli
Hey Alli!
Good lawd girl! It’s HOT there! I’m sure you do remember the snowy days but also how COLD it can get her in the states. Soak in that ac and keep yourself chill! Amazingly, so many people compare what they have to what others have, especially if they live on Facebook. One needs to learn to be happy with what they have. Life in itself is a true blessing.
Happy New Year my friend!
Bren
This heat is killing me! They’ve revised the forecast to a lovely 114 on Friday which probably means 115. Yuck. Can’t wait for my electricity bill :).
You’re so right about Facebook being a place not of connection for so many people but of comparison. It’s one of the reasons I spend so little time on there. When I do, I usually try to catch a picture or two of Pibbles. Makes me smile.
Thanks!
Alli
First I must admit that I do have a ping of jealousy for your warm weather. Ha! But you are so right that being fixated just paralyzes us. For the longest time I kept looking at all the new updated websites that others kept creating. I was longing to do mine again but just couldn’t. So finally I decided to stop thinking about everyone else’s website and start working on my own. It is taking a bit longer than I thought but who cares. I am learning, growing and hopefully sharing soon.
Happy New Year Alli!! Terri
Look forward to your website launch whenever it’s ready! I can definitely relate since it’s time for an overhaul of Break the Frame too. The key is getting started even if it takes longer than you want. There are a lot of things that determine our pace but taking action and choosing to move is a critical step.
Thanks!
Alli
Hi Alli,
What a great post to start the New Year. Action x Time. I love that. So simple. Putting a sticky note on my screen now! Enjoy your beach side sojourn and I hope you get to cool down…
Happy New Year, Ingrid! I’m glad it resonated with you. Action x Time…
With no end in sight to the heat here, I’m excited for the beach in WA in a few days! Thank goodness it’s dramatically cooler there.
Alli