I’m in New Jersey this week at my parent’s home, and it’s like I’m 16 again. There’s squabbling with my siblings, stress with my mom and, happily, lots of love too. It’s tough when multiple people move in for a few weeks, and although the house is big, we’re on top of each other.
Earlier today, I was over the edge with the way the morning was unfolding. So angry I saw red, I needed a quick fix to change my experience – *poof* tension transformed into loving kindness. Dreams, right?
No magic pill to turn around a bad day, an hour and a large iced hazelnut coffee from Dunkin Donuts gave me time and space to cool off both literally and figuratively.
Later in the afternoon, I was a lot more chill and made a grocery store run for a family mberry tasting party. If you don’t know what mberry is, it’s a miracle berry (or in this case a tablet that dissolves on your tongue). Mberry makes sour and bitter things taste sweet and sweet things taste like they were dipped in a vat of sugar.
Limes tasted like limeade.
Tomatoes were luscious.
Grapefruit as if someone was liberal with sprinkling sugar.
Tonic water so saccharine I could only take a sip.
Sucking on an mberry tablet, I was thinking even more about what I, and my clients, could do to take the sour moments in life and make them sweet once again.
When I was fuming, it was like a smoldering fire that quickly expanded to everyone around me and engulfed us all in negativity. At this point, there were two choices: either we’d go up in flames, or I needed to start a more positive chain reaction to turn around the day. (Did you catch that? choice…)
Bet you’ve been there too.
Something goes wrong, and you’re angry, frustrated, and even worse, ready to take it out on anyone who crosses your path. Even as it’s happening, you feel like it’s impossible to stop. Day ruined.
It does not have to be that way. You too can make another choice.
Five Must-Dos to Turn Around a Bad Day (and make your bitter moments sweet(er))
Don’t Assume Your Bad Day is Unstoppable
When you’re a grumpster, you’ve bought into a terrible experience like it’s your destiny. One bad thing happens, then the next and by the third you know it’s coming. The forth just confirms that there’s no hope of anything good. Get real. The first step to making any change is noticing that you need to make a change. Yup – didn’t say nothing bad would happen, just that you can change even when your circumstances cannot.
Give Yourself Time and Space
The mberry tablet took a few minutes to melt on my tongue. It wasn’t instantaneous. When you’re fuming, you need a moment too. Take a walk down the hall to breathe, suck on a tic tac or play a quick round of Candy Crush. Do something that will help you to take a beat and step away from what’s triggering your negativity.
[Tweet “When your temper’s rising – retreat don’t roar.”]
Pump Up the Volume
Music relaxes the nervous system and propels you to make positive shifts in mind and body. When you put on music that brings you energy and joy, you start to feel energy and joy. Want to feel more relaxed and chilled out? Maybe you need some Yanni (probably not) or whatever tune fills you with peace. Pump it up even if you have to put your earphones on and create your own little music-universe.
Accept a Little Sweeter is Better than Sour
Some of the things we tasted after our tablets melted were not remarkably different than the original until we stopped to consider what had changed. For example, I bought dill pickles for our tasting pleasure and the general comments were that they tasted like pickles, and everyone was unimpressed. However, when I pointed out that they tasted like bread and butter pickles (sweet!) everyone oohed and aahed.
Never poo-poo small changes that take you in the right direction. Not every shift will be a leap.
Let Go of Your Negative Expectations and Assumptions
You can stop your bad day when you stop assuming that the next thing that happens will be equally awful (or worse!) than the last. When you are sure about what’s yet to come, you’re creating it. Imagine that your thoughts could create your experience – positive, negative you choose. Whoa!
At our mberry tasting party, there were skeptics and others who were ready to believe that things would be different. We all knew that a pickle was still a pickle and cream cheese the same that we put on our bagels this morning. Who do you think had the biggest shift in flavor – those who accepted that it would work or those who were sure it was impossible?
[Tweet “You create your experience and find what you seek.”]
Will I take another mberry tablet? Probably not. Will the experience stick with me? You bet. In fact, along with a deep breath, I’ll visualize taking a mberry for my life to bring a little more sweetness to life’s sour moments.
What about you? What’s your go-to to turn around a bad day?
Alli,
During our bad days, we just need to remember to breathe. We may need to go for a walk or do something to re-set our mindset. Hard to do. However, when we catch our breath or notice the small things of beauty, all seems good again.
Have a WONDERFUL day!!
Jon
I think breathing is key and I know that I’ve had times when I didn’t even realize that I was holding my breath in frustration. I’ve learned over the years the power of walking away, even into the next room and 60 seconds of deep breathing can be just the release that’s needed.
Thanks so much, Jon!
Hi Alli,
Great to hear you’re back home! I’m sure that can be a bit chaotic. I hope it gets better quickly. My day started off horrid and continued until about an hour ago. Sometimes the best med is to have alone time and detox the bad. If there isn’t anything you can do to rectify the bad day, relax, detox, and let go.
Great read, my friend. Thank you.
Bren
Does detox = wine? If so, I’m good. 😉
Truly I’m with you. If you can’t fix it, let it go.
Thanks, Bren!
Haven’t ever heard of an mberry tablet; but, now would love to have one! Great post, Alli! Thanks for sharing your story!
It was very cool. My favorites were the lime and grapefruit. What’s funny, when I just think about the sour foods, I react and involuntarily pucker. Eating them was such a different experience – even the sour cream was amazingly delicious. Would be lovely to transform our experiences too!
Thanks, Joy!
Thank you so much for sharing your mberry tablet secret with us!
To change around a bad day or mood, it takes a mind shift change. I was on a frustrating phone call last week that really set me off. To deal with my anger, I literally had to talk myself down and give the incident perspective. It was merely a “blip” I told myself and I could move on from the insanity.
Thanks Alli for always cheering up my day!! Love the post and will share!
Talking yourself down – yes! Recognizing when you’re riled up and bringing some rational thinking to the party. It’s interesting that we can tell ourselves it’s a blip and change our thinking pattern. Our thinking absolutely changes our experience.
Thanks for sharing your insight, Terri!
Hi Alli,
I read once that most of our problems are confusing the partial for the whole. I wonder if bad days are like that. We have one bad thing happen and “like a smoldering fire that quickly expanded” you’re in a mess.
Someone reaching out to you on Twitter, asking how your week is going, though, is enough to begin to turn things around.
😉
Lori
Lori! Hope your tomorrow is better than today. Yes, I know that mess well. Here’s to finding a way forward.
~ Alli
Hi Alli,
Timely post for sure. I have been on edge since a “bad” July 4 (yes, two days later I am still hanging on to it). As I read your post, I realized that I created a story to make the day a “bad” one. As I step back and reflect upon it now, I see there were many wonderful moments to celebrate. So why couldn’t I see it then and how had I let the one “bad” thing monopolize the day?
The answer is that I did not focus on any of your five must dos nor did remember the power in gratitude. Over the years, I have learned to include gratitude in my toolkit for overcoming a bad day. Yes, I was mad, hurt and upset on July 4. But those feelings did not have to dominate my day. Had I used your must-dos in combination with gratitude, I know with 100% certainty that my day would not have been the bust I chose it to be.
Great learning here. I will be sharing this post for sure.
Terri
Terri
Excellent post. Great & exceptional points / tips.
Changing your surroundings for a while (going in a park / restaurant, swimming, cycling, chatting with a friend etc.) are also helpful.
Zafarmanzoor, Sr. Executive, Pakistan.
Alli – Oh I’ve missed you! Anxious to catch up!
I’ve never had an mberry. Sounds very interesting!
When I need to turn a bad day around I start listing all the things I’m thankful for. And then say a prayer of thanksgiving for those things. Music, a feel-good movie and a chat with a great friend are also standard mberry pills for me!