I hear it all the time.
“My life sucks. I hate my life.”
Usually, at some point, they stop and take a breath and I ask the $92,000 question. “What are you going to do about it?”
That’s when they look somewhere between a deer in headlights and as if I slapped them across the face.
Then they say it.
“I can’t do anything. It is what it is.”
(PS. If you use that phrase. Make today the day you stop.)
Ugh. Powerless much?
Even worse, sometimes that one question will open the floodgates to the zillions of reasons other people are to blame. Holding them back, being mean, difficult, expectations too high, too low, you name it.
It’s messed up.
From deep down in that rut, it’s impossible to see what’s really happening.
No one is going to come over to you, take your hand, and change your life for you. They’re not going to make it amazing or happy or successful or fulfilling. All that is up to you and the truth is that it’s in your control.
No “it is what it is.” That’s a lie. The truth is: Life is what you make it.
It’s interesting, from the outside, I’ll bet you can tell when your friends, family, and colleagues are struggling and need to make a change. However, when it comes to noticing that you’re sucking it up again and again, and suffering instead of thriving, you’re less than skilled.
Here are 15 signs that yes, a change is definitely in order. How many ring true for you? One? Five? Fifteen? How many will it take for you to stop saying silliness like “it is what it is,” get out of a rut, and make that change?
In a Rut? – Created with Haiku Deck, presentation software that inspires
Would love to hear from you. Do you need to get out of a rut and make a change? What’s stopping you? (Please don’t tell me “it is what it is”…)
I think people were afraid to say that to me because if they knew me at all well they probably knew what I would say and they didn’t want to hear it. They also knew that I believed strongly that we usually have at least three choices.
1. Stay right where you are and continue being miserable. 2. Plan for a change and then follow the plan. 3, Get help if you need it.
Here’s the classic description of those who can’t seem to change and I wish I could find the origin. “There are those who mistake the edge of the rut for the horizon.”
That’s a great quote. Can count on you! đŸ™‚ It is easy to lose sight of all that’s possible when you’re stuck down in there super deep. (That’s why it’s sometimes key to have a partner to help us get out).
Here’s to creating meaningful change instead of accepting that this is all there will ever be…
Alli
I love this post and your poignant slide share! It is so frustrating to be stuck in a rut and as you state the signs may be there but we can’t seem to act.
When I have faced being in a rut, I feel low energy and know that I need to at least take small steps forward. Those steps can include reading about different ideas to stretch my mind or talking to colleagues or friends. The worst thing we can do is pretend it isn’t happening.
Thanks Alli and will share!
It sounds like you’re well attuned to your need to change before you’re flat out. You sense the rut when others don’t notice it until they feel like they’re all out of options.
Great additions to spark thinking and help to jumpstart action!
Thanks, Terri!
Alli
Hi Alli,
Oh what a well-know image your post creates! How many times does this exact situation occur in life every single day.
When people say “I can’t do anything about …” it does stop their minds from thinking of solutions. I love your plea “Please make today the day you stop saying this.”
They can also add one word that keeps hope alive: Yet. When you add the word yet to any feeling of being trapped, it does kick the mind into future thinking.
Great post. You have hit this one right on the head and inspired everyone who reads it.
Kate
Right on!
Yet keeps the door open for the future instead of slamming it shut. Yes, there are times it’s wishy-washy but not when we’re talking about our dreams. Love it.
Thanks, Kate!
Alli