The smell was overwhelming; reminiscent of burnt popcorn, but substantially worse. It crept into our couch, carpets, clothes, and hair. Who knew that charred oatmeal was so toxic?
The day started like any other. My child wanted oatmeal for breakfast, poured it into a bowl, and popped it into the microwave. Only this time, it was done on autopilot, and apparently, this autopilot forgot to add any liquid. Before we knew it, smoke was streaming everywhere, and we rushed to open doors and windows before the smoke alarm notified the entire neighborhood of our problem.
In school, the homeroom teacher asked, “Is something burning?”
My child replied, “I think you smell me.”
I had the joy of staying home with the doors open to try to get a cross-breeze between my kitchen and the front of the house. Unfortunately, it was 34° F (just over 1° C). My teeth chattered, but the smell didn’t dissipate. Hours later, no matter how much air freshener I sprayed, it still smelled like smoke. The smoke lingered, but, thankfully, there was no fire.
How many times have you “smelled smoke” at work yet, somehow things got resolved before flames erupted?
I know I’ve worked with leaders who have spent most of their waking hours looking for issues instead of trusting their team to resolve things before needing to escalate.
I’ve also known people who I swear are human lighters, heating things up and hoping that no-one notices that they’re the one who set things afire – again.
Luckily, we can learn from burnt oatmeal four important lessons that apply to the world of work (and home) too.
4 Critical Leadership Lessons from Burnt Oatmeal
Just because there’s a flare-up, it doesn’t mean things are about to burn to the ground.
Our microwave didn’t explode, and the fire department didn’t race down our street with their sirens blaring.
The people on your team will not always see eye to eye. Instead of thinking that high performing teams never have disagreements, know that they understand the value of productive conflict – working through differing perspectives to find a stronger solution. In the moment, it may be tense, but you’ll get past it.
The stench may belie the magnitude of the issue.
The burnt oatmeal smell was potent.
Sometimes, your team may be churning, and you suspect that they’re about to go up in flames. Before you jump in, ready to throw water on the situation, take a moment to assess. It’s possible things aren’t as bad as they smell, I mean seem? Give people a chance to resolve matters without you before you jump in to fix things that may not need your involvement.
Smoke lingers. When the issue is resolved, it may take time for things to return to normal.
Parts of our house still stinks, but the oatmeal incident is now nothing more than a memory. However, I suspect it will be a while, despite boiling orange rinds in the microwave, for it to return to normal.
When people move past an issue either within the team or with your client, at school or at home, it takes time to recover. Recognize that the emergency has passed and give people a chance to catch their breath, regroup, and move forward.
Instead of placing blame, make things better.
I could have chosen to throttle my child, but I didn’t. Instead, I grabbed the bowl and threw it in the sink and ran the water. They felt terrible, my piling on the blame would only make things worse.
As a leader, parent, or colleague, you can choose to focus on what’s going wrong or help to make them go right. Support people, intervene when needed, be the calm when everything s crazy and help everyone get through it.
I want to be clear, sometimes smoke does require investigation. I’ve written in the past on fighting fires at work. It’s a big part of what leaders do. Still, there are times when the embers smolder and go out long before there’s damage. It’s a balancing act, knowing when to step in and when to stay out, but one worth mastering.
Hi Alli,
Your post topic is one that we don’t often consider. Your message is powerful: Yes, we must assess smoke to see what’s there. Yet we don’t always have to react to what we find in the same way.
In the end, make things better once you’ve assessed the situation!
Great post. Will share.
Kate
Thanks, Kate. So many leaders think that they need to jump in at the first sign of an issue. However, it’s not always necessary or helpful. Noticing the smoke is one thing, freaking out about it is another.
Grateful!
Alli
As I read about your microwave situation I was very impressed how calm you stayed throughout. When I was working last year with a senior leadership team there really was tons of conflict and smoke. I thought for sure a fire would erupt but as we moved through things started to simmer down. Your point about not blaming is so important and that is exactly what I helped the senior leaders to see. When they stopped blaming each other and took responsibility they became a much more connected group.
Thanks Alli and I’m happy everyone is fine.
What a great example, Terri. Blame ususally escalates. It sounds like you facilitated a healthy discussion to move towards solutions. Once the smoke clears, it can be surprising what you find – an opportunity to clean things up and move forward.
Alli
I appreciate the measured pace at which you suggest people to probe deeper into the burning issues around them. Sometimes there are flames, sometimes there is a smoldering fire, and other times there is nothing but smoke. Hot heads and drama queens will make snap decisions without further thinking through the implications. Confident leaders will take their time to fully look into all aspects of the situations in a calm and reassuring manner…this is a list of great reminders!
Thanks, LaRae. I know my share of hotheads and drama queens. You’re right – it takes confidence to remain calm and assess the situation. Too many are willing to be the first one to throw up their hands and scream as if everyone won’t follow their lead.
Alli
I often used the phrase, “I get hot enough to burn, but I don’t smoke.” You have just added an additional dimension of meaning to that sentence. When I was leading, whether teams or organizations, there were times that I was either upset or angry or both and some would say “hot under the collar” but I did not let those irrational feelings (emotions) create a bad smell nor do any damage. Nor did I necessarily suppress them and instead found a measured way to use them to try and make a situation better. Lesson learned: As you said, the value of conflict and disagreement used constructively. Thanks!