It was my first big networking event since starting my company. The lobby was packed with business owners looking to pick their needle out of a haystack. Turned out, most of the people I met didn’t care what I did, they wanted to sell to me. I resisted the urge to run.
Eventually, I met a CEO of a startup, and we bonded over how stressful it was to do what we came to do – network. You know, here’s who I am, what I do, let’s get to know each other for 30 seconds before shoving random products or services down each other’s throats. We talked for nearly an hour which turns out wasn’t a remarkably better choice than 30 seconds. We were hiding, not networking.
After interjecting myself into as many circles as I could of people holding lousy wine in one hand and a stack of business cards in the other, I was pooped. The most progress I made that night was an offer to join a local BNI by someone who sold printer cartridge refills.
There was also the money manager who met with me at Panera to figure out how we could refer each other and he left me with a stack of his marketing materials that was only slightly smaller than Mt. Everest.
Success Tips for Your Next Networking Event
If you find networking for your small business stressful too, here are some tips to not only make it more effective but also more enjoyable.
Adjust Your Expectations – It’s Not a Sales Event
At your next networking event, remember you’re there to make connections – not sales. Yes, it’s possible you’ll get a customer but unlikely. Let’s be honest, you’ll talk to most people there for less than 10 minutes – they’re not going to sign on the dotted line before you head back to your car. Stop behaving like they will.
Tip: Get to know people beyond their business. Get curious and ask questions about them, not only what they do to pay the bills. Focus on starting a relationship.
[Tweet “Networking isn’t a dirty word. It’s more than hunting for your next sale.”]
Set a Goal – Even One Solid Contact
You’re in the room, don’t let the opportunity pass you buy just because the last five people you spoke to made it hard for you to stifle your yawns. If you leave with one contact that’s meaningful, that’s a night well spent.
Tip: Decide on your goal and let it energize you. Do you want to walk out of the event with 25 business cards (probably not that helpful), 5 meaningful conversations, or two follow-up meetings? Whatever you choose, let your goal help you stay engaged and present to what’s happening in the room.
Be Brave and Don’t Wait for People to Come up to You
You may want to stand alone by the bar and look like you’re focused on an important business email while playing Candy Crush, but that’s a poor choice. No matter how shy you feel, you’re there for a reason, and it’s not finally passing level 672.
Tip: Smile. Even when you plaster it on, a smile helps to elevate your mood and reduce stress. A bonus is that your smile will not only help put you at ease but is a sign to others that you’re receptive. Remember, everyone is there to interact. If you’re too shy to break into a group, keep your eye out for conversations that are ending or other people that look desperate for someone to come up and say hello.
[Tweet “Networking is about building your connections, not signing up new customers.”]
Practice Your Pitch but Also Stop and Listen
Chances are before you showed up at the event, you practiced your pitch. (If you haven’t, it’s a good idea). The problem is that when you’re so focused on your pitch, services, and selling points, you don’t stop to listen.
Tip: Active listening takes the pressure off of you and turns a pitch into a curiosity-fueled conversation. Yes, share what you do, your elevator pitch, but remember, your goal isn’t pitching, it’s connecting.
[Tweet “You can’t make a meaningful connection until you listen. #networking #success”]
Asking for a Friend
That person telling you about their printer cartridges may not be the right contact for you, but it may be for a friend or another person you’ve met at the event. Instead of trying to hoard targets for future sales, think about your Rolodex.
Tip: Be a connector. Be on the lookout to help your contacts and potentially create a supporter that will refer you in the future.
Set a Date
Think of your networking event as a blind date. Sometimes you want to see them again for a second date, right? Well, to make that happen you have to ask. All of those business cards are just pieces of paper. You want a relationship, continue the conversation.
Tip: Whether you decide to meet again on the spot or you send a follow-up email that night, ask for the second date – ask. Also, like in dating, not every person has to be a love connection but someone you think you can develop a relationship with over time.
Ok, so it may not be easy for someone with social anxiety, or for a business owner who would rather be rockin’ and rollin’ back at the office, but I promise you, it will get better. Networking is essential, and it shouldn’t be something you dread.
What would you add? How have you made networking something you look forward to instead of trying to avoid at all costs?
Your networking strategies are right on! I love your last tip about setting up a second date because it helps continue the conversation. So many times I have collected business cards and done nothing with them. A marketing person once shared that it takes 7 contacts to make a connection or sale.
Thanks Alli and will share!
Thanks, Terri. I think we’ve all left events with a pile of cards and had little ability to further the connection. Whether it’s a sale or a professional colleague, follow-up is critical. Here’s to the second date!
Alli
Depending on how you look at it, networking doesn’t have to be a necessary evil or even unpleasant as you have wisely suggested. If you approach networking as opportunity and you get to decide who you want in your network and why you want to connect with this or that person, it’s like inviting them to the party, or the dance, whatever image you want to use. Picnic is OK too, especially if there’s good food and drink. Regardless, establishing a connection that may, or may not, develop into a continuing relationship is like a mini start up. You have to have ignition before there’s any energy to keep going. Truth is you have to decide who you want in your network just as others decide whether or not they want you as well. In networking, I used to think about purpose, plan and proposal. Now, I think more about need, desire, time and a very small network. Not working and not having to work changes everything.
Definitely need good food and drink at the picnic 😉
Need, desire and time. I like those. When the first two are mutual, we are willing to invest the time.
Appreciate you, Gary.
Alli
A great visual…a glass of lousy wine in one hand and a stack of business cards in the other! I could really relate 🙁 I’ve never enjoyed networking either, but you gave me a great idea—go to an event with a goal in mind. Once you meet that goal, have fun! It takes the pressure off going to an event and feeling as though you’re “on” the entire time. Great tips, Alli!
Having that goal does make it a lot easier. Especially since once you achieve it you can 1) exceed it 2) let go and just relax 3) go home.
I’m all for taking the pressure off and interestingly, that’s when I usually really start to connect…
Alli
Be proactive, listen, and make sure you the effort to screen for at least that true meaningful contact that’s hopefully (probably) there. Great list as always!!!
I didn’t use that word, proactive, but it really is important. Like in life, when we wait and hope that what we want will happen, we may get lucky, but most of the time it doesn’t magically work that way. You’ve got to be brave and proactively put yourself out there in a way that’s authentic to you. After all, connections aren’t about your business and my business but the synergy between you and me.
Thanks for your addition, John!
Alli
Great insight to networking, Alli. As an introvert, I have always dreaded networking. Last year I had an ahhh ha! moment. I was digging deep on how I could approach networking differently since I was thinking it was a necessary evil, ha ha Gary! I decided to approach it with an attitude of something I enjoy, Twitter chats. That reframe helped a ton! I had the best experience ever, with that change in attitude. I arrived with confidence, an open mind and curiosity, and joy. Cheers to better networking moving forward.
Lori! Thanks so much for sharing your experience! Great tip too. Putting yourself in the perspective of something you enjoy let’s you bring that mindset with you. I too love Twitter chats and am not someone who enjoys working a room. Great perspective!
Thanks,
Alli
When networking (to me that means meeting with people most of which you don’t have established connections or relationships), your best two suggestions include smiling (honestly, happy to be included – if not shouldn’t be there IMO …) and listening actively / intentionally. So important to being the connector – the goal (right???), otherwise it’s not networking – that you refer so importantly to. Connections for you, for others, or for both …
Great post as usual, Alli! With my recent scholarship of Personal Servant Leadership, I feel I must remind all that networking should not be seen as important to only those employed by businesses and organizations. Indeed, I’m suggesting two individuals networking effectively quite possibly could eventually launch an entrepreneurial business.