You and I are clearly not cars but we still suffer a great deal of wear and tear in the daily grind of our lives. Oftentimes, work feels like a road riddled with potholes and life, the equivalent of driving in San Francisco, navigating high peaks and quick dips. Along the journey, leaks pop up. Don’t sweat it, fix it. Damage happens when you ignore the issues or worse, see them and still do nothing other than cross your fingers.
[Tweet “Leaders know that “fingers crossed” is not a workable strategy.”]
In my earlier post, Part One: Diagnosing and Fixing Broken Leaks, I encouraged you to do some preventative maintenance to ensure your life, leadership and over all happiness are at their peak. Here are three more leaks to plug before it’s too late.
EMPOWERMENT LEAKS
It’s important to your personal leadership that you let others step up to do and be their best. However, when you put people in boxes, and expect them to perform to the best of their abilities, you’re always left wanting.
Top three signs?
- Instead of delegating you tell yourself: “It’s just faster for me to do it.”
- Suggest that others can lead the work but you’re still in every meeting (hint: see Part One time leaks)
- You market the work without recognizing the people who put in the effort. What’s the fuss you wonder… does it really matter who did it?
What to do about it?
It doesn’t matter if your team is your family, or an entire division in a large corporation, you will not be there forever to do everything for everyone. Here are three T’s to help you empower more and smother less. 1) Teach 2) Trust 3) Target
Instead of making yourself irreplaceable, share the wealth and teach others to get the job done. If you don’t have the time now, as you rush towards this deadline, teach before the next deadline. Stop making excuses.
Once you’ve taught them how to do it, time to delegate some responsibility. However, responsibility without authority is like giving someone a car but never telling them how to turn off the emergency brake; they won’t get far without you. You’ve got to let go of control and replace it with trust. Without trust there is no empowerment, only empty words.
Lastly, target your interventions for maximum learning (remember teach?). When someone gets stuck, help get them out of the ditch without being a back seat driver the entire time. Learning happens when you make mistakes, not when someone helps you avoid every single pitfall on the road to success.
IDEA LEAKS
Ideas are like gold, until you make everyone around you feel like all they have is fool’s gold. When no idea is good enough, big enough or creative enough (other than yours, of course) people around will start looking elsewhere to share their nuggets.
Top three signs?
- Somehow every idea you present has no rebuttal or discussion at all. Ever.
- You wonder why nobody else can ever come up with an idea worth following through.
- “I hear you… sounds good… but…” comes out of your mouth countless times a day.
What to do about it?
Simply start saying YES more and NO less. Most leaders I know are always looking for the holes, why something can’t work and why it will fail. Unless you’re a mind reader and can know with 100% certainty that the idea stinks, try it out, take the new idea for a spin and play What If.
Good news is that you don’t have to do all the work yourself just because you said YES. Empower the person who had the idea to do the research and bring it to life. What are you committing to with that YES? Support, brainstorm, bust down some roadblocks and be an engaged sounding board.
Oh, and at all costs, if it doesn’t work, bite your tongue before you say “I told you so.” Instead, ask: “What did you learn?”
RELATIONSHIP LEAKS
Your mantra is that work is called work for a reason and life is something that happens after hours. (Funny, that you spend most of your after-hours time browsing the web, on Social Media, or in front of the TV).
Top three signs?
- You are tight with the people you see day-to-day but when you stop seeing each other as often, your texts and phone calls quickly cool to an annual Holiday card exchange.
- Of the 600 friends you have on Facebook, you don’t know who 300 of them are and 290 of them you haven’t spoken to since high school. Thank goodness Facebook keeps you tight! Right?
- Employee only holiday parties make a lot of sense to you. Who wants to meet everyone’s significant other? Not you.
What to do about it?
Learn this big life truth: I am in relationship with you and we are in relationship with each other… like it or not. Your beliefs, and mine, influence the choices, perceptions and actions of each other.
To get started, ASK:
- Am I pushing people away before they get too close or inviting them into relationship?
- Has my computer screen become my armor, protecting me from the world?
- What’s the cost of holding back in my relationships and making them either professional or personal but rarely both?
We’re all humans, doing our best to live a life of meaning. The number one most critical component for the meaningful life you crave is to not only be known for what you do but also who you are.
Bottom line? Be vulnerable and find the courage to be yourself. People want to be in relationship with YOU not your title, not your resume, and certainly not your outdated picture on Facebook.
Did any of these personal leadership leaks hit home for you? Where do you need to make a change?
For coaching, consulting or speaking Let’s Connect!
Joy Guthrie says
Really a great continuation of your previous post Alli! Great points all around. Thank you.
Alli Polin says
Joy, Your support and feedback really means so much to me. Thanks so much!
Matt says
I like the bit about “600 Facebook friends… ” It got me to thinking: what is Facebook, or any site where I have “connections,” for? Methinks its time to thin the herd a bit on Facebook, and “qualify” my LinkedIn connections.
Thanks for the prompt and your great blog!
Alli Polin says
Hey, Matt! Thanks for stopping by! If relationships aren’t adding value to our lives, are they really relationships? Been asking myself the same question. Thanks!
LaRae Quy says
It’s so important to balance being vulnerable with looking weak…it’s worth the effort because when we are vulnerable, we can relate to others in a way that is authentic. Too many times we think being vulnerable is being weak…but sometimes it takes real strength to expose the soft underbelly…
Alli Polin says
Vulnerable most definitely is NOT weak. In fact, it takes courage to show someone who you really are and what you truly believe. It’s much easier to keep building walls to keep you safe. With you all the way, LaRae!
Terri Klass says
It takes a lot of courage and belief in your team to let go really allow them to fly. Yet, a leader will be left alone if they can’t trust others.
I love, teach, trust, target-brilliant! Simple and powerful!
Thanks Alli for another great one!
Alli Polin says
Terri – You always add so much to the conversation and with trust you’re so right. Extend trust or be left standing alone. People will find others that they can trust and feel like they can stretch out of their comfort zone to continue to grow.
Many thanks!
Jon Mertz says
Well done, Alli! Our approach to engaging others (and ourselves) makes all the difference. For example, with “teach,” how we teach matters. Teaching can be a lecture or it can be a case study, exploring different viewpoints, options, and potential outcomes. In my opinion, the latter will be much more productive than the first. We need to consider and be aware of how we approach each. Thanks for your great ideas! Jon
Alli Polin says
Jon –
Yes! How we teach others absolutely matters! Teaching that gets us thinking and engaged will always beat out being talked “at.” It’s essential for leaders to realize when they’re truly teaching and when they’re pontificating.
Appreciate your insights as always!
Karin Hurt says
Great post. It’s so important to know learn when and how to scaffold and when to let go. Great leaders don’t run around plugging leaky holes.