I met a friend for coffee a few weeks ago and she told me about a big, exciting idea that she has for a new business venture. She was so excited that she could hardly slow down to take a breath. She shared tons of details which told me she had given it a lot of thought too; staying up late at night, making notes and waking up first thing in the morning with this big idea on her mind. Then I asked the $24,000 question: What are you doing to get started? Can you hear the crickets? Apparently this was an idea for “someday.” I was left wondering, what’s really stopping you from making someday today?
This wasn’t the first time over coffee this particular friend shared her passion and enthusiasm, while declaring her dream, and desire to make it happen. Thing is, it never happens. Thinking, dreaming, planning, scheming and sharing coffee with people who believe in her are as far as every single idea goes; never further.
She has all of the excuses ready to go. Sound familiar?
- I’m a Mom. In a few years I can do something else.
- The economy is still really tough. It’s hard for entrepreneurs.
- I just don’t have enough time.
- Our money is going to more important things… like braces.
[Tweet “Excuses are the lifeline of staying stuck. Let ‘em go.”]
Here’s what she’s doing right to make a dream, reality:
Telling people about her dream! It’s a great way to move from stuck on a dream and into positive action. Furthermore, it rocks, hearing her excitement and enthusiasm from her heart. No practiced pitches or PR spin, she’s able to authentically enroll people in her vision. I totally want her to do it and want to help her succeed!
She’s a friend, and I want her to be happy, so when she asked me for my thoughts, I gave her my opinion.
Success is impossible unless she…
- Believes she deserves it.
- Believes it’s possible and all she needs to do is figure it out.
- Quits feeling the pressure of creating a big business (although she can already picture her empire)… start with small.
- Stops worrying about step 963 and the fact that she has to run her child to swim lessons during the exact same time slot.
- Focuses on step #1.
Ready to Make Someday Today?
Your turn. What if a magic button appeared on your bedside table, or better yet, magically at the bottom of your coffee cup, which if it’s like mine, is mysteriously, perpetually empty.
Now, think about that really stuck place in your life, you know the one.
Pressing the button will change everything. You will no longer be stuck, but instead have pressed GO.
Push the button!
So what do you want to do? What’s keeping you frozen? You pressed the button so you have permission to move.
Why do you continue to stand still?
- Fear?
- Don’t know what to do first… or next?
- Unsure of the how?
- Scared it’s too hard?
- Worried that everything will change when you succeed?
[Tweet “When you’re stuck, dreams feel impossible. Reframe to open new possibilities.”]
Break the Frame Action:
Take the time to understand what keeps you stuck. What is standing between you and what you most want?
It could be a lot of things, but you can figure it out by looking within. Decide if your someday is today… or tomorrow… or never. Up to you.
If you’re ready to make your someday, today, check out my eCourse: Get Unstuck and Choose to Move. Your time is now.
Alli,
I know that some where I heard a song “A little less talk, a lot more action”. It is interesting that of late I have had several discussions with prople about all the talk on social media that doesn’t really find a way to action. Maybe there is a light bulb there.
Thanks for another great post.
Tom
Ah! That song is right on for this! Like in life, there are a ton of big talkers on social media but it’s those that take action that I’m keeping my eye on.
Thanks a ton for your feedback and support, Tom! Glad this one resonated with you!
Tremendous post Alli, great advice and I hope your friend knows she has a great coach able and ready to help her. 🙂
Best regards,
Carl
Thanks, Carl! I always have to be clear with my friends… is it Friend Alli giving advice and commiserating or Coach Alli 😉
Hope all’s well!
Excellent post and terrific points. Derek Sivers actually has an interesting counter point to your “tell someone” suggestion. http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself?language=en
Apparently some research has shown that telling someone prematurely releases the endorphins we would feel from achieving it… and therefore we have less of a desire to actually do it. I wonder if that is impacting your friend in any way?
I was really surprised by this talk the first time I’ve heard it… and it runs counter to my intuition, but I think there may be something there. I would be interested in what everyone else thinks.
Interesting! Thanks for sharing, Karin!
I’ve had many big ideas that I’ve kept to myself because the time wasn’t right to share the dream. What I’ve found is that when I’m actually ready to MOVE an accountability partner is priceless. They can give me the loving kick in the you know what that I need.
With my clients, I’ve found that when they share dreams too soon, it’s like they’re poking holes in their own half baked schemes instead of putting them forward with confidence and competence. Sometimes they get past that and sometimes they don’t .
I love this post as it calls us all to take action on our dreams to make them real!
I remember years ago sitting in a workshop on goal setting and hearing the presenter say: “Someday is not a day of the week.” That always stayed with me when I am feeling paralyzed or others I work with feel glued to the floor. I think the hardest step is the first one and admitting to ourselves and others that we want to change things up. I think an announcement like your friend made can be very impactful and real.
Thanks Alli for spurring me on this morning!!
I love that, Terri!! “Someday is not a day of the week”
I’m also with you all the way. The hardest step is the first. When that one’s done, it’s as if we cross a threshold that brings fire and energy to help us take the next.
I believe I know what the problem is: I’m trying to volunteer my time to start considering, understanding, planning, implementing, and assessing an initially small pilot program for facilitating effective, deeper learning skills for students. The problem: the initial encouraging representative response doesn’t lead to opportunities to broaden the consideration; they won’t get off the ground with inviting broader engagement with me or even introduce me to the broader group!!! I’m struggling with how to get things started. Oh, a key point: I’m trying to work with public education. One reason I often say my most cherished opportunities would be becoming a school superintendent or starting my own school… I’ve had a well placed state official tell me they love my ideas and qualifications; but they are so short on staff, they have nobody available to “manage my volunteer efforts!”
John, You’ve beautifully given us a glimpse into a challenge so many face. It’s the tiptoeing towards something that matters… dipping in our toes… looking around that can give us lift-off or have us quickly retreat to re-think and re-plan and re-consider.
Also, WOW – school superintendent or start your own school. There are always obstacles the question is are they unsurmountable or creative solutions that can uncover a new path to making it truly happen.
Very grateful for your sharing and insights, John!
I needed to read this today. I’m about to start a new venture and I’m nervous. I’m starting to get those “you’re not ready” thoughts. I’m lucky to have a friend who is like you and pushed me to get it going. I would have still been in “someday” mode had it not been for her encouragement.
Your friend is lucky to have someone encouraging like you, too. We should all have people like that in our lives!
Thanks for sharing.
`cori
Cori – Truly, sometimes is that loving push that gets us from standing still, totally stuck and into action. I’m so glad to hear that you have a friend who believes in your and encourages you – especially when you need it most!!
Many thanks for your comment and sharing your experience too!
Your friend sounds like so many people I know—even me at times!
You ask a great question because WHEN is it time to move on? Why not NOW?
For me, it’s always a fear of the unknown…and yet once I can push past those fears, the experience can be exhiliarating! I like to take the time and remind myself of how energized and motivated I’ve been in the past when starting a new project, career, etc.
Once I get the right mindset, I find it easier to move on!
Exactly! Why not now? I’ve made HUGE leaps in my life and work and still, like everyone, I face moments of self-doubt and fear that stop me in my tracks. It’s an amazing feeling when you realize that you (and I) truly can figure it out!! The key is to not give up before even getting started.
Thanks, LaRae!
I love this post in so many ways, Alli. Then, I also feel myself having some trepidation about your post when it applies to others who are close to me. When you have someone who is trying to support a family, has no “financial security net” and then decides to take the leap like that, they put not only themselves at risk (which can be exhilarating); but, also, their family (which can be devastating). Yes, absolutely going for something you want to do is fantastic. If you are unable to house & feed yourself & your children, are you doing everyone a disservice if you go ahead and do it now? There may be very valid reasons why NOW is not the right time to go all the way. So, I’m decidedly on the fence. Doesn’t make me love your post any less. Just gives me more food for thought.
Joy – this is such a critical addition to the conversation. The time is most definitely NOT now for everyone. It would be too idealistic and simplified to assume that everyone should chase their dreams in this moment. Still, there are things each of us can do to keep dreams alive, and move them forward, even in small ways, without making the big leap.
If people work with a coach or mentor pushing them to trust that they need to “leap and the net will appear” they need to tease apart their truth from reality and decide if it’s a go, not now, or not ever. When we make a big move because someone else thinks it’s right, it’s easy to place blame instead of take ownership of our choices and experiences.
Thanks, Joy!!
Hi Alli
Loved the post! You make some brilliant points and provide some excellent advice!
You also have a profound knack of kicking my butt just when I need it!
Thank you so much! I’m off now to start writing again!
Kind regards
John
John!
Glad I could kick you in the butt all the way across the ocean 😉
Can’t wait to read that book and hear all about your adventures!
xo
Distance is no obstacle when friends come together! Thank you so much for your continued inspiration! 🙂
WONDERFUL Post Alli!
I especially related to worrying about step 963 and struggling to focus on step #1!
I have so been there!
Reading the comments was almost as much fun as your post. I love Karin’s tip about the TED Talk. And Terri’s quote about Someday not being a day of the week, and balance of Joy’s point about supporting a family.
What I hear you saying is to do something. Don’t just talk about it, take step 1. Even if it is research, or a certification, or starting a blog, or joining a network. do something to start the process.
YES!! That’s it!!! Do Something. It’s a heck of a lot better than doing nothing and just thinking about it… endlessly. It’s about starting the process, not only making the big leap.
Thank you for putting it so well, Chery!