I just wrapped up one of our biggest family trips of the year, from Australia back to the USA, with a few stops for some pre and post family visit adventures. In total, our family spent close to 60 hours in the air as we moved around for our nearly three-week whirlwind. Before we left, I bought tickets, had rough plans for each day, and big ideas for what we needed to see and do. I think we all know what they say about the best laid plans… Now that I’m home, I’ve been reflecting on the leadership lessons from travel with kids as I mentally replay the highlights of our incredible adventure.
Needless to say, we had many moments that will forever stay with me over the years, balanced by many I’d prefer to forget. Everyone in the family had an idea of what would be fun, where we should eat and what we should do. There were times that I played the “parent card” and put my foot down on the agenda and other times we allowed ourselves to go off track and into the unknown. Sometimes it worked out (the Batobus was a great break for our aching feet) and other times it didn’t (riding on the top of a double-decker bus in the cold pouring rain is not fun for more than 5 minutes.)
The curious thing is how many of the lessons from travel with kids can be applied to the world of work when looked through a different lens. In life, travel, family and work many of our decisions, behaviors and choices mirror those of leaders around the globe.
Five Leadership Lessons from Travel with Kids
Allow Room to Flex
I had a beautiful color coded spreadsheet (Type A, anyone?) and by the time we got off the plane, we realized our son was at best a walking zombie and at worst going to lay down in the street for an extended nap. If we stayed with the plan, it would have been an epic fail.
[Tweet “Rigid plans don’t allow detours, inspiration or opportunities.”]
Leadership TIP: Project managers and team leaders can live and breathe gantt charts, but the best leaders review plans on an ongoing basis to make adjustments based on current circumstances.
There is Another Way
Every city we went to on our trip I had visited before and many of the museums and monuments were not new to me. Still, I didn’t think my children would want to stroll through the streets admiring the architecture so we booked children’s tours and even for the adults, they were nothing short of interesting, educational, and engaging.
[Tweet “Old becomes new when you see it with fresh eyes.”]
Leadership TIP: Millennial, Gen X, or Boomer, each one can walk the same path yet bring new insights and ideas to life from their unique perspective. Don’t assume because you’ve walked the path before that you’ve seen, understand or know it all.
The Big Stuff Isn’t Always the Big Stuff
I went to Paris a few years ago for my birthday and we often talked about going as a family to see the Eiffel Tower. This month, the moment had finally come and we piled into a cab, filled with anticipation. Upon arrival, we looked up and had a “yeah, there it is” moment. No angels singing and definitely no desire to wait in line for hours, we moved on with our day. We enjoyed the view as our constant companion around the city, but had our most meaningful experiences in other places.
[Tweet “Milestones only have meaning as a part of a larger journey.”]
Leadership TIP: Instead of only celebrating big milestones, why not celebrate and enjoy interim accomplishments. Enjoy the process to appreciate the final achievement.
Exhaustion and Excellence Do Not Go Hand in Hand
Early on in our trip, the kids were so tired I thought we’d have to carry them on our backs, but they were not the only ones on the edge of sanity. We were all crabby, less tolerant and more demanding than usual. At one point, our son literally put his head down on a bench at dinner and it was impossible to wake him up. After that, we stopped setting the alarm in the morning and decided to BE on our holiday and not only DO.
[Tweet “When you’re on your last leg, rest and recharge to be and do your best.”]
Leadership TIP: You can’t expect yourself or the people on your team to be hard charging 24/7 and continue to produce exceptional results. The strongest leaders take time off to reconnect with who they are and not only what they do. Exhaustion doesn’t serve anyone. Take a vacation, a long weekend or even a long lunch – it will be OK.
Learn to Wait for Payoffs
High season in the USA and Europe means you can count on two things – big crowds and long lines. We waited in line to enter museums, to buy tickets, to see famous art with an unobstructed view, for dinner, to use the restroom, you name it, we waited for it. However, something interesting happened the more we waited, the kids began to understand the payoffs for the wait. Weighing the choice of instant gratification against being forever changed by a visit with the work of Degas, Seurat, or Manet made the wait easier – and a part of the journey.
[Tweet “Instant results are nice, but some things are worth the wait.”]
Leadership TIP: It’s always tempting to lower the bar to get results faster or walk away from tough problems that will be challenging to figure out. However, when the mission matters, when the WHY is clear, waiting for payoffs becomes a choice that leaders are willing to make.
Were there some tears? Yes. Temper tantrums? Yes again (from me, too… not only the kids). Unexpected surprises, learning and laughing? Yes, yes, and yes. If I was to summarize the trip and all the leadership lessons from travel with kids in one sentence:
Expectations and experience are two different things and that’s beyond OK – it’s what makes the ordinary, extraordinary.
What are your biggest leadership lessons from travel? Please share!
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Sounds like a wonderful vacation Alli. Great lessons!
It was a wonderful vacation! Thanks, Joy! The strange part is, now that we’re back, it’s hard to believe we were ever there. Luckily, I have the pictures, memories and leadership lessons to prove it 😉
As always, very good advice!!! At first read, great post for educators to consider. Your experiences as a parent sure ring similar to mine as a proud grandfather (papa).
Always wonderful to hear from you, John! There are leadership lessons everywhere… in the classroom and out. Appreciate that it resonated with your experience too!
I loved all of your points, Alli!
Keeping flexible is the one that really resonates with me…if we can keep our minds flexible and agile when things are not going as planned, or when a crisis hits, we are able to pivot and turn in a new direction.
It seems inflexibility in leadership is one of the main problems we face…and I think that’s really a lack of confidence in their ability to think on their feet and move in new, and better, directions.
Great post!
Flexibility really matters. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that there is only one way to do things and that the path is set in stone. Truth is, we can always choose to take another route at any time… we just have to be open to making the shift, letting go and moving forward into the unknown.
I agree with you – I see so many leaders that are rigid and their mantra seems to be “been there, done that” and ultimately they cut off the team from engagement, innovation and creative solutions.
Thanks for sharing your insights, LaRae!
Welcome back, Alli, and it sounds like you had a wonderful time! Givings space and time to breathe is so important in family vacations and in project work. All of your points are spot on…. and, it might even be good to give people time to chart out on their own and discover. I know with younger kids that is problematic but, in our work environments, it is necessary to give people their own discovery time. Thanks! Jon
What a great addition, Jon! If the PM (or the parent) is the only one that owns the plans, it’s easy to miss out on buy-in and otherwise unknown opportunities.
It was a hard choice for me to not blog for two of the weeks but I wanted to be in the experience with my family. It’s a choice that I would make again and again.
Alli, your post brought back vivid memories of my own family trips – Excellent connections to business and the leadership required.
Carl
@SparktheAction
Thank you, Carl! We have been very lucky to do a lot of family travel since moving overseas. Each time we hit the road I come home with life and personal leadership learning in addition to a bag full of souvenirs.
Your vacation sounded awesome and spectacular, even with a few minor meltdowns!
Meltdowns happen in the workplace too and having patience and empathy can go a far way. Your family all needed to listen to each other and support each of your individual choices just like on a team. We may have different ideas of how the project should progress, but to get the best result we need to listen to one another and be open to possibilities.
Loved the post Alli, and how you all are extraordinary leaders!
Meltdowns sure do happen at work too! The best way to avoid getting to the point of meltdown is self-care. I’ve discovered that most of the time, at work at in life, the meltdown is rarely about the topic at hand but more often than not something that’s going on underneath. Listening to each other and to ourselves is a great place to start the discovery!
Thanks, Terri!
Welcome ‘home’! : )
I was wondering when you would be ‘back’ from your va-cay! Sounds like whirlwinds of adventure all the way! Not sure how I’d feel about 60 hours in the air though. Too much of a land lover for sure! : )
Flexibility is definitely a must. I especially love what you said at the end:
‘Expectations and experience are two different things and that’s beyond OK – it’s what makes the ordinary, extraordinary.’
We all have our ‘idea’ of the way things should be, reality rarely lives up to it! Or in some cases, it exceeds our expectations in ways we never anticipated or expected. Those are my favorite kind of moments.
This past month it was my youngest daughter who went on vacation. She spent a month in Arizona with her grandma. (her dad’s mom) For me, nothing close to a vacation. I actually got more accomplished in the past 4 weeks in key areas that I had put off. Even repainted several walls in my place! She came home yesterday and although I missed her very much while she was gone…it ‘hurt’ to be completely alone in my place without at last one of my kids… it made her return so much sweeter and more precious. It’s impossible to take people for granted when their absence is so keenly felt.
Thanks for sharing what you’ve learned on another one of your adventures. Glad you rested and also happy to ‘see’ you back!
Now that’s love! “It’s impossible to take people for granted when their absence is so keenly felt.” I’m so happy your daughter is back home with you!
It was really hard for our kids to hug their grandparents, aunts and uncles knowing that they won’t get to do it again for another 12 months. We spent a really, really long time up in the air in cramped quarters but seeing how they enjoyed their time with family and embraced the adventure of the trip made it worth it.
Many thanks, Samantha! xo
Excellent post and what an amazing trip. I have also learned from kids how to stay open to meeting new people and possibilites. Here’s what Seb taught us on one of our recent adventures. http://letsgrowleaders.com/learning-development/effective-networking-6-secrets-kids-know/
Great piece, Karin and I love the picture of Seb too! Just this weekend we went to the park for a bbq and first thing my son asked me is can he go play and make some friends.
Alli!
Welcome back. Sounds like an incredible trip. With some outstanding lessons. Great post your children are amazing at teaching all of us adults some really strong leadership skills.
Tom
Thanks so much, Tom! It was incredible – both the highs and lows! I learn more about life and leadership every day that I’m open to seeing the lessons that are literally everywhere! Thanks so much for your support and connection, Tom.