Leaders Build Bridges Not Walls

It’s easy to fall into the comfortable pattern of categorizing everyone and everything because it helps us to make sense of the world.  Those people are smart, those are my people; those people are stupid, I have nothing in common with those people.  Judgy much?  Aren’t leaders supposed to build bridges not walls?

Seriously, I’m willing to bet big bucks you don’t shove people in boxes because you get a kick out of it, but instead, you do it simply because you’ve been trained to do it.  We all have.  Ready to break the habit of us vs them, good vs evil, box vs, well, unboxed?  The trick is to stop being a human rolodex that files people in the blink of an eye and start being a human that sees other humans.  Crazy?  Not so much.  It’s much crazier to be a leader that creates a world of US vs THEM.

Case In Point: 

Earlier today, I was driving to the store, and saw a bunch of those people on the side of the road ambling towards the crosswalk.  I knew I’d have to stop my car despite the green light because those people just do what they want; rules, traffic lights and cars don’t seem to mean much to them.  As I kept my eye on them, I noticed that one of the women in the bunch said something to her friends and they clearly marched forward without listening to a word she said.  I was genuinely surprised that instead of following them all across the street, she stopped at the light and waited.  I thought I knew those people and they way they acted and what they believed, but today I was surprised because this woman was not simply those people, suddenly, she was just like me.

I shouldn’t have been so surprised, really, because leadership is never us vs them.  The potential to change, lead and break the frame is in WE, not ME.  Funny, it took me literally driving across a bridge to look beyond a wall I’d been building for years.

[Tweet “Leadership begins and ends with WE… not US and THEM.”]

We categorize people at a high level based on trends and hearsay:

• That company is the worst. Everyone there is arrogant.
• That division is awful.  Don’t let them woo you over to the dark side.
• That team stinks, everyone’s on their way out.

[Tweet “How often do you think you know people without knowing them at all?”]

Have you ever been this person?

• The one walking down the hall, shuffling through your papers, as you pretend not to see someone coming your way.
• The one who averts their eyes when something is hard to see because it makes you feel something.
• The one who’s working late because you’d rather be at the office than with those people at home.
• The one who’s so sure they are walking the right path that everyone else’s has to be wrong.
• The one who’s surprised when someone breaks the mold that you assumed could not be broken.

Lump ’em in!  They’re all the same, those people.  

We talk about individuals as if they are one big blob of sameness:

• Those people are lazy.
• Those people never sit still.
• Those people never listen.
• Those people are constantly talking.
• Those people can’t see past the end of their nose.
• Those people don’t realize the big picture is made up of little pieces.
• Those people are too quiet.
• Those people are incredibly loud.
• Those people never see things right.
• Those people just do whatever they want.
• Those people look like they’re always judging everyone.
• Those people can’t keep their opinions to themselves.
• Those people never focus.
• Those people are always stuck on one thing or another.
• Those people make me crazy.
• Those people drive me nuts.

Psst…  You…  I’ll let you in on a secret about those people.  All you have to do is look in the mirror.

BREAK THE FRAME ACTION:

Be a leader that builds bridges and climbs over walls.  Instead of categorizing people for expediency, reach out and make a connection.  Those people just may be your people.

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