Most of my clients have spent time in recent weeks looking forward to the new year. They want to set goals that will call forth their best, move things forward and help them to leap where they most want to go. Instead of partnering with them to create a laundry list of goals, we’ve focused our time together on four What If questions instead.
Ready to play What If?
1. What if you don’t change anything?
Change is scary because it takes us from being firmly planted and ends with a leap into the unknown. As a result, the temptation is often to not change a thing, not stretch, not reach for something new. OK, so don’t change a thing. What will the next year look like for you? At this point, most people start to reflect and discover… “Well, I don’t want to change everything but I guess here are a few things I a really want to try…”
2. What if you change everything?
Talk about overwhelming. Everything? Really? Everything? Yeah, go for it and imagine what if you let go of everything that’s tried and true. More often than not, the good stuff that’s going on, the things that need to stay and grow, quickly comes to the forefront. “I could change a few things but not everything. I love how “this” is working for me. I’m finally hitting my groove…”
3. What if you learned from the past?
The past, often shows up in our lives in arcs that replay over and over. You ultimately hate what you thought would be the perfect job. Failed relationship after failed relationship. Business ideas that fade away because they’re too hard and get only a half-hearted attempt at success. When we bring those stories to light, we can break the cycle and be more intentional. It starts with noticing and eventually becomes learning that informs our future choices. “I need to let go… I’m ready to show up with 100% commitment… I don’t want that to be my story anymore.”
4. What if you could predict the future?
Get ready to pull out your imagination and put it to use – we’re getting in a time machine. Tell me about the future. What’s happening? What does it feel like? Who’s there? What are you doing? Who are you with in this window into the future? Say more, go bigger, dive deeper and paint a big huge picture of what CAN be. From here, what’s the first step? Honoring a commitment to take just the first step will take you closer to your future.
Did you play along and answer these questions for yourself? Would love to hear what you discovered. Will you share in the comments below?
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What if I never read this post?
I would never be able to tell you how much I admire your wisdom and brilliance.
Thanks for constantly sharing amazing ideas and provocative thoughts.
Lolly
Thank YOU, Lolly, for your connection, friendship and inspiration!
Alli, I am right there with Lolly – thank you for bringing consistent, practical thoughts – and sharing from the heart and home.
Happy Holidays,
Carl
@SparktheAction
Carl, I appreciate that you show up here so often to share your thoughts and experience. It is hugely appreciated!
You’ve got me thinking Alli. Love the “What If” game. 🙂
If it got you thinking, I’m glad I shared! I love the “What If” game too! Thanks, Brian.
What if I never followed you on twitter and missed all your great posts and wonderful comments?
And what if I could get away from the past and do all I am capable of?
Great post…thanks for all you do.
What If I never followed YOU? I’d be missing out on your authentic, human, connected presence. I’m one lucky woman!
With thanks to you, Tom!
~Alli
What a powerful question: “What if I could change everything?”
Wow, that sure puts things into perspective – how many positives may be in one’s life, when one is feeling overwhelmed or having a bout of negative self-talk.
That question brings up a lot, doesn’t it? There really is so much good in our lives but somehow that negative self-talk wins out far too often.
It’s all about our perspective! Thanks, Bill!
Such great questions, Alli! The stream of images I had while contemplating them actually helped me hone my vision for the upcoming year. Thank you!
When I was reading number 3, “What if you learned from the past?” it occurred to me that this is where so many people need help. We really want to learn from the past, but we cannot access the faulty coding that is driving us to make the same choices over and over. I sense that you would be such a good ally to have at this juncture. Your wisdom and authenticity evoke a sense of trust that will enable people to do the hard working of stepping into the unknown in service of their dreams.
Thanks for enriching my new year and I hope you have a very merry season.
Blair – I think you’re right on. That third question really does benefit from support. It can be hard to see our patterns without someone else’s distanced observation. Allies are always good to have in our lives – enabling us to go further than we could on our own.
Thanks, Blair!
Spot on questions to ask, Alli. These questions should be asked quarterly, too, in order to make adjustments. The first question is so important and one that is on my mind. I know I need to make some adjustments in how I work through various initiatives and keep up on everything, so I want to make some shifts in my methods and activities. Excellent advice, as always, Alli! Thank you. Jon
Jon, If I’m truthful, that’s the question that I’m spending the most time with personally. What if I stay where I am and do only what I’m currently doing. Will I eventually end up where I want to go?
I agree with the quarterly review of practices too… why wait until an annual milestone?
Thanks so much for your comment and insights, Jon!
Loved this post, Alli.
It takes a strong mind to learn from our past so can become stronger than ever. Once we identify our behavioral patterns, we can indeed begin to predict our future, or at least our reaction to it!
Behavioral patterns often remain invisible to us until we’re willing to be brave and truly take an honest look within. Definitely a time we need mental toughness to – otherwise we’ll start to explain things away instead of embrace and learn from the truth.
Many thanks, LaRae!
Interesting questions to prepare for the new year, Alli. I bet your clients really appreciate taking a step back. For me, I find myself not wanting to predict the future, when in the past I had been very interested in being able to pull out the crystal ball and reduce uncertainty. At this point, I think I’m good with living in the present and allowing the mystery of life to unfold before me. In some ways, this comes from learning from the past, that it doesn’t matter how much I plan and chart the course, if I weren’t flexible with rolling with the punches, I find myself resisting life and creating a lot more angst for myself in trying to control what isn’t within my control. Happy Holidays, Alli!
You’re awesome, Alice. This moment is pretty wonderful, isn’t it? Allowing the mystery of life to unfold… what a wonderful place to be – there are far too few mysteries left in life. Control is an illusion anyway.
Thank you for sharing here, Alice! Happy Holidays to you too!
Really got me thinking. Powerful idea to begin the new year!
Thank you for your feedback, Nuel! Glad you found them useful!
These are a great list of questions. It’s a tough challenge to figure out what to keep and what to change. I’ve been pondering my goals a lot for 2014… this helps.
It IS a tough challenge. So glad that these are useful for you too! I’m working through them with clients and working through them myself too.
Thanks, Karin!
Alli – Ditto what Lolly said! “What if I never read this post?”
Thank you for jump starting my New Year! I’m ready to make some more leaps!
You know what amazes me? That social media can create a web of connections around the globe.
What I’ve found is that each leap I makes me look forward to the next even more. Watching you energizes me too! Leap on!
xo
Love your “What if” questions Alli as they are truly a thought-provoking way to look inwards and see where we each must go!
I find that if I try to think how to change everything I might end up so paralyzed that things remain status quo. It’s always about dreaming and then choosing which dreams are a priority and which dreams may just need to wait a little while.
Thanks for your amazing challenge! You always get me to think!
I’m with you, Terri. Changing everything absolutely feels overwhelming. Love how you put it in the context of dreams though. What’s the risk if we never reach for a dream that matters? Which dreams can have more time to percolate? Thank you for getting me thinking and giving me new rocks to turn over!
Appreciate you, Terri!
Hi Alli!
I love this (as everyone else does)! The polarity of the questions stretches the brain – what if I never…what if I always… You got me thinking!
Thanks!
Lori
Thanks so much, Lori! I’m definitely feeling the brain stretch too and still personally noodling the questions. Feels like a great way to both start and end the year.
All the Best ~
Alli
Alli!!
Oh Lord. What if?!
(sigh)
My entire existence seems to revolve around “what if”.
The really, REALLY scary part of that is it is the path to results!
I try not to dwell on the “what if’s” because then I just end up confusing myself! I am big on taking what others see as risks ~ but I don’t see them as risks so much as just “unchartered” …or “pioneering” if you know what I mean. The goal is over there ~ and so the little voices gasp and say “but-but! No one has BEEN over THERE!!” Well. In my own experience, THAT is the best place to start! LOL, sometimes that leads right back to where we headed in, but at least then, we know what is “over there”!
LOL, Merry Christmas, my friend!
Oh my gosh that’s one of the (many) things I love about you!! You not only work for Pioneer Outfitters but truly are a pioneer! What’s so great is that you hear the voice that’s trying to stop you and do it anyway! Some of the richest experiences come from going “over there” but what’s even better is that when we choose to go back home, if that’s where our path takes us, we’re still transformed.
My biggest challenge with “what if” thinking is that it could go on forever. Ultimately, it’s doing something that tells me the most about the path I’m on than all of the thinking!
You are greatly appreciated! Learn tons from you (I’m pretty lucky, huh?)